Everything's Jake 4: Connor

By Dabeagle

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Paul had grabbed Jake and wrenched him away into the crowd. I lost sight of him almost immediately. I tried to jump up and see over the crowd, but it was no use, he was gone.

“Wow, Paul means business, huh?” Andy yelled. He leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “Wish you'd drag me to the bedroom like that.” I turned and stared at him. He thought he was being sexy, smiling back at me and all I could think was that Jake was being abused. Again.

Andy continued to smile, completely unaware of the revulsion Connor was experiencing for him. Connor sighed, deciding now was as good a time as any, while he was good and pissed off.

“Andy, it's time we had a talk.” Connor rounded on him and Andy widened his eyes but kept the same not-so-sexy grin on his face. “You and I, we aren't working out. We haven't been for a while, but I don't think you or I realized it.

“And,” Connor pulled him close, “I'm in love with someone else. I'm sorry.”

Connor set off through the press of people heading for the stairs. He had to try and find Jake, even though he knew Jake probably wouldn't let him do anything. Damn if he wouldn't make him listen this time! He hated to admit it, even to himself, but hugging Jake had nearly brought him to tears. Jake pulling away from him was almost more than he could stand, but to realize why....

He descended the stairs quickly and darted out into the cool night air. It felt undeniably good after being packed in and sweating with the other dancers. He trotted to the side of the building and looked for Paul's car, but they were already gone. Connor sighed in frustration.

He drove home, there was no point in going to Paul and Jake's apartment, they wouldn't even open the door. Rather, he thought sourly, Paul wouldn't let Jake. He let himself in and climbed the stairs as quietly as he could. Living at home made a lot of financial sense, but it wasn't exactly how he had pictured college life. Dorm parties and hot frat boys were more what he was thinking. That and Jake being there to enjoy it all with him.

He closed the door to his room and sat down to take off his shoes. He stretched back on the bed and thought about Jake. Ever since he'd first laid eyes on him in High School, he'd been hooked. The dark curly hair with the flashing green eyes and the coffee and cream colored skin had captivated him. Actual interaction had only deepened his fascination with the only out guy in school. He hadn't been courageous enough to come out to Jake in the first place, and even worse he doubted Jake really knew how much he'd cared; how much he'd loved him.

He sighed and sat up, peeling off his shirt and tossing it across the room in the general direction of his hamper. He recalled vividly the night Jake had explained about his father and how he rationalized the beatings. Just a few months later a gulf opened between them when Connor had reported Jake's father. Since that rift had healed, Connor had kept his feelings in check, after all he couldn't force Jake into a loving relationship. He was no authority, after all, he'd been dating a string of failures culminating with Andy; a guy who climbed into bed and immediately imitated a dead fish.

But what could he do now? He stood and shucked his pants and socks and headed to the bathroom to relieve himself. As he climbed into bed and lay his head on his pillow, he hoped Jake was safe.

He was awakened by his cellphone going off. He rolled around, tangled in his sheets. By the time he got loose the phone had stopped going off. He stretched and sat on his bed to gather his wits. Rubbing his eyes he reached down to find the jeans he'd worn the night before. His phone beeped, indicating a message had been left. Probably Andy wondering if last night was a joke or not.

After relieving himself he checked the voicemail on his phone. Sam's voice came out of the speaker.

“Connor, call me or stop down to my place when you get this, Jake is here. I think he could use you right about now.”

He sat in stunned silence, but it passed quickly. He showered in record time and rushed out the door. It took minutes to reach Sam's small apartment building. In fact it was an old house divided into an upstairs and downstairs apartment rather than a huge apartment complex. Sam lived downstairs and Connor rapped quickly on the door before letting himself in. Sam sat at the table, dressed for a leisurely day at home.

“Hi Connor, coffee's in the pot.”

“Hey Sam, where's Jake? What happened?”

“He's sleeping on the couch. He had a bad night. Grab a cup of joe, I'll fill you in on what I know.” Sam pointed to the coffee machine. Connor resisted the urge to go check on Jake. If he was on Sam's couch, he was safe for the moment and probably needed the rest. After fixing his coffee, he sat at Sam's little table.

“He's left Paul.”

“It's about time!” Connor sighed in relief.

“Yeah, but it didn't happen easily.”

Connor's eyes narrowed, “What did that fucktard do to Jake?”

“Before I tell you anything, let me remind you that being angry in front of Jake will only make him feel worse. He's vulnerable, hurting, and scared.” Sam's eyebrows went up and he shot a meaningful glance at the young man across from him. “Above all, no matter what you see and what I say, you have to keep composed. He needs your support, more than he needs almost anything else.”

Connor's eyes narrowed as he watched Sam. Whatever had happened to Jake, it had to have been worse than ever for Sam to talk like this. He closed his eyes to bring his emotions into check and fought down the urge to go check on Jake. “What happened, Sam?”

“You understand the need,” Sam said quietly.

“I do.” He replied.

Sam waited for Connor's eyes to open again and held his gaze before nodding to him. “As I said, he's left Paul. Paul has been beating him, as we suspected.” Connor's eyes slid closed again and he gritted his teeth. After a moment he re-opened his eyes and motioned for Sam to continue.

“It's even worse than his father. Connor you have to understand,” Sam reached across the table and took Connor's hand in his, “Connor. Paul has been forcing Jake to have sex for a while, but last night he outright raped him. Beat and raped him.”

Connor tightened his grip on Sam's hand and concentrated on not screaming his rage. His eyes got wet and, try as he might to blink away tears of rage, they rolled large down his cheeks. He pulled his hand free and took a napkin, wiped his eyes dry and blew his nose. No sooner had he done so than he needed to wipe his eyes again.

“That son of a bitch.” Connor muttered.

“Yes, no doubt. But more importantly Jake is here now. You can try to get him to file charges, but I don't think he will. What's more important is that he knows you still love him.”

Connor's eyes snapped up to meet Sam's.

“No, I haven't really said it like that to him, but he's got himself feeling so low, he's sure you won't ever see him or forgive him.” Sam smiled at Connor, “Now more than ever he's going to need support and love.

“From the research we did when he went through this with his father, you know Jake blames himself. He's damaged, Connor,” Sam sipped his coffee as he organized his thoughts. “He needs some coddling, some safety to build up his self worth.”

“I can do that,” Connor choked out, barely containing a sob. He took a moment to gather himself and settle his breathing. He and Sam sat in the small kitchen drinking coffee and Sam shared the details of his deal with Jake. Eventually they sat in silence, the sound of the clock in the living room and the steady sound of Jake's breathing the only noise. When Connor couldn't take it anymore he stood slowly, steeled himself, and walked into the living room.

Jake was huddled lump under a blanket on the couch, whimpering and shuddering. Connor sat beside him and placed a hand on Jake's shoulder. He jumped, startled awake, and turned to face Connor with fear in his eyes.

“Shh, shh. It's just me, you're okay,” Connor soothed. He mentally flinched at the site of Jake's swollen face. Jake turned away from him, a look of embarrassment on his bruised face.

“I thought it was Paul, coming after me,” Jake whispered.

“Never again,” Connor took Jake's chin into the palm of his hand and turned those beautiful green eyes to face his own brown eyes. “Never again. Oh, Jake, your poor face.”

Connor leaned in and wrapped Jake in a gentle hug and whispered in his ear.

“It's you and me now. I love you Jake, and we'll get through this. Together.”

Slowly, achingly slowly Jake's arms lifted and returned Connor's embrace.

Author's Note:

Certain things happen more often in the gay community than in the straight world. Because of our historic outsider status, at least in the last few hundred years, we have adopted many self destructive habits. We smoke more, we drink more and have more drug issues. I believe, and I don't have a doctorate or anything, but I believe most of these things come from a lack of self worth. I think most self destructive habits do.

Abuse is just one. If you or someone you know has experienced this or is, please seek help. Your life is worth it.

The End

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