The Quantum

By Dabeagle

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Finale

“Wake up.”

“But it’s Saturday.”

“Yeah, and the parts counter closes at noon so we need to get going.”

“Parts counter?”

“Get up or I tip the bed again.”

“I’m up! I’m up!” I rolled off the mattress in time to catch the door closing as my grandfather left the room. I scratched and stretched before grabbing fresh clothes and heading for the shower. Fifteen minutes later I was in the kitchen being handed a travel cup of coffee and ushered to the waiting car.

“So why are we going to the parts counter?”

“Because we need parts?” My grandfather replied.

“Yes, but, on Saturday?”

“I didn’t have time during the week. Your car isn’t exactly at the top of the money-making list you know.”

“What does it need now?” I groaned. I’d never work off the debt for all the things this old car needed.

“It has special hoses that run from the water jacket to the transmission cooler. Bigger on one end than the other, can’t use regular hose. Dealer only, screw me till I scream pricing is the only way to get it.”

“That was...colorful.”

“It is what it is, can’t put lipstick on a pig, doesn’t fool anyone. Well, maybe if you’re from Texas.”

We rode in silence until we reached the Volkswagen dealer. I went on a mental shopping spree with all the new cars on the lot, silently lamenting that I would never be able to afford one.

“That’s kinda neat there.”

I turned my head to see what my grandfather had found. A small silver coupe sat in front of us, snow still on it in patches. My grandfather stopped the car and got out to get a better look. I decided to follow him.

“Hah! It’s a convertible!” Grandpa chuckled.

“Odd time to shop for one don’t you think?”

“Bet I can get a good deal! Ideal car for parking, is a convertible.”

I looked at him in confusion.

“This way, when their legs are up in the air, they don’t tear the cloth on the liner. Nope, they can go up and hit noting but air!” He grinned widely at me. I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Ah, I see you found the new Eos, nice lines on her, don’t you think?” The salesman had appeared from nowhere. He shivered in his sports-coat as my grandfather gave him the patented glare.

“Wasn’t exactly hidden.”

“Pardon?”

“You said we found it. It wasn’t hidden.”

“Oh, of course, sorry. Brain freeze!” The salesman chuckled.

“Happens in sales and politics,” Grandpa commented dryly.

“Yes, well…” The salesman stumbled, clearly thrown off track.

“Which way is parts?” I asked no one in particular.

“Well, you know, with the standard warranty for all new cars, you wouldn’t be putting any parts or repair money in to the Eos.” The salesman smiled at us, ignoring my question.

“Always a plus.” My grandfather mumbled.

Something wasn’t right. My grandfather turned and smiled at the salesman and I knew right then this fellow was in over his head.

“How about a cup of coffee and I can get some more information for you on this little number, eh?” The clueless salesman smiled.

“Why sure! The more information the better!” My grandfather smiled. Oh, there was no cheer in that smile though, it was feral.

I followed the salesman to his doom, trailing in my Grandfather’s wake. The salesman chattered inanely, oblivious to the storm clouds that were threatening him. We followed him to his desk, and he waved us to some uncomfortable chairs in front of his desk while he tapped a few keys on his computer.

“All right, just need some information so we can get this baby in your name.”

“Don’t wanna buy it. I don’t like car payments that go on for years and years.”

“Oh, I completely understand. Folks that have had cars paid for are very happy with them until they start to need things, nickel and dime stuff. I’m sure you understand that since you were here for parts. But if purchasing seems like a longer commitment than you need, how about a lease program then?”

“So I pay for it and have nothing to show for it in a few years?” My grandfather gave him the squint.

“Were you considering a cash purchase then? While flexible credit terms are something we prize, cash is always king.” The salesman shifted tacks.

“No. I just said it looked nice. Thought it might be good for parking.”

“I’m sure we can come to an agreeable price.” The salesman clearly felt this was starting to slip away from him.

“I don’t want to buy it. Who buys a convertible in winter?”

“I don’t understand. Why come in if you had no intention of purchasing.”

“I intend to purchase parts. Not the whole car.”

The salesman’s cheeks flushed red, his nose seemed to drain of blood as it wrinkled and he moved papers aimlessly on his desk. “Can’t you get your hands on any cash? I can make you a superior deal on that car.”

“I could, but I don’t want to.”

The salesman stared at my grandfather, disbelief on his face. He was clearly flustered and unsure how to proceed. I’m sure he felt that, given the fact the man was across the desk from him, he had to make a deal. Resolutely he reached out and turned a picture frame to face my grandfather, a small child started out from behind the protective glass, smiling into the camera.

“Cut me a break, I have a kid to feed.”

My Grandfather‘s brows knit together, a clear sign of his sudden anger. He regarded the picture and then stood, looking the salesman in the eye. “She’s ugly, let her starve.” He strode away quickly, and I scurried after him as he headed for the rear of the sales floor towards a silver sign that announced the parts department.

Once we were home, I had only a few more chances to figure out what to get Jake for Christmas. The painting was just too much; not that he wasn’t worth it, but I simply couldn’t come up with that kind of cash. I liked the shirts I had gotten him, but that was kind of a present for me too. I had the lame bracelet the girl at the mall had given me, but it just didn’t seem right to give someone I thought was so unique such an ordinary gift. At the very least, I needed to come up with one on my own.

We worked most of the day, my grandfather alternating between humming and swearing at my car. I mostly handed him tools, but other than that I was almost useless.

“Have you come up with something for Jake yet?” he asked.

“No, not really. I’m kind of stuck.”

“Gift cards, works every time.”

“Not very personable, Grandpa.”

“I said it worked, I didn’t say it was perfect. Why not some jewelry? Does he like jewelry?”

“I don’t think so, he doesn’t wear much of it that I can think of.”

“How about music?”

“No. He seems to like dumb movies.”

“No shortage there. Video games? Sports? Cars?”

“Yeah, he’s a motor-head, but I can’t afford to give him a car.”

“What does he drive?”

“His mom’s Golf, when he can get away with it.”

My grandfather ruminated on that as he slid back under the car. I started to pick up the tools and put them back as I pondered what to get Jake. I cleaned and replaced ratchets and sockets, wrenches both open and box, the air gun, and the ten pound hammer that was left out of place from some other job this week. I swept the place out and as I did so, I realized I simply couldn’t come up with a single thing that I thought was good enough to express what Jake meant to me. At least, nothing within my meager budget. How do you give someone your whole world in a box with ribbon?

I passed by a window and saw that snowflakes had started up, and were floating down fat and lazy. Already a blanket covered the ground and cars in the parking lot, with more working at making the landscape like a clean canvas waiting for a painter to bring life and color.

I wandered back to the car as my grandfather slid out from under the car and asked me to get five quarts of oil ready, as well as the bag with the spark plugs, wires, cap, and rotor. My grandfather met me at the grill, handing me a ratchet replete with a socket and extension.

“We’re down to the nuts and bolts here, so let’s finish this bitch off.”

“It’s almost done?”

“Yep. Now, follow the wires until you see where they end.”

I complied.

“That’s a boot, it covers the place where the contact makes electrical love to the end of the sparkplug. Now you want to grab the boot really low and twist it to break it free.”

I reached down and twisted the rubber boot so that it spun and then pulled it up, under my grandfather‘s watchful eye. The boot came free with a pop, revealing the ceramic top of the sparkplug, and its metal top.

“Ok, now put that extension and socket together and slip it over the top of the sparkplug. What’s important here is that the sparkplug socket has a rubber insert, so make sure you have it seated all the way down. Wiggle it a bit, making sure it’s all the way down. Good!”

I attached the ratchet and the spark plug squeaked and groaned its way out of the head.

“See, the idiot that changed the plugs last time didn’t oil them. Crack open one of the cans of oil and dip your finger in there, get a drop of oil and spread it over the new plug‘s threads.”

I carefully put a thin layer of oil on the new plug threads and then looked at him expectantly.

“Take the ratchet off the extension,; you never start a plug by ratchet, always by hand.”

“Why?”

“Because the plug threads are stronger than the head; the head is made of aluminum, a softer metal, so if you start it with a ratchet you can cross thread it. If you start it by hand, you can tell if it’s not starting correctly.”

I carefully set the plug into the socket, and then used it with the extension to hand start the plug. Once it was started I used the ratchet to tighten it down.

“Ok, so you know how to do that part. Now, use this screwdriver to pop the clips that hold down the cap.”

Two small chrome clips held the cap in place, and I used the screwdriver to wedge them away from the cap. The first popped audibly as it came free and the other slipped off with the tension of its twin being released. I lifted the cap up and my grandfather took it in his hands, tilting it and pointing as he spoke.

“The cap is like the switching station for a car; electrical current comes from the coil and powers the rotor here in the middle,” he pointed to the rotor sitting exposed. “See the metal contact is scored from current passing through it,” he pointed now to the cap, “to each of these contact points. Notice how each contact point in the cap is scored, and the black dust coating the inside of the cap? That means it’s worn out.

“Now, you pull the old rotor off and replace it with the new one. After that, get the cap positioned over it, and lock it down. Once you do that, you need to replace each wire one at a time so you don’t get them mixed up. It won’t run if you get them mixed up.”

He observed me as I carried out his directions, replacing one wire at a time, twisting each end of the wire before I separated it from its previous home. I began to replace the spark plugs, all five of them, without breaking to look at my grandfather for guidance or reassurance. Once the last piece was in place, I looked up at him and saw something which may have been pride. It was only a few spark plugs, but I did do it.

“Next to last step. Let’s check the oil, make sure there is enough in the pan.” He guided me to the dip-stick and after we confirmed enough oil was present, he fished about in his pocket and handed me a key.

“Engine should warm up about ten minutes before you change the oil. Hook up a hose to the tailpipe and connect it to the door, then let’s see if it works.”

I quickly hooked up the pipe and stood in front of my grandfather, who smiled at me. “You’ve done a good job here, you and your friends. You know, especially this time of year, people look for things to give others to show them what they mean to them. Some people just give so they can say they did. But if you want to give someone something of real value, you give your time. You can’t return it, you can’t get a refund or exchange. It’s always theirs, a gift of a bit of your life.

“This car gave you a bridge to a friend or two, a boyfriend, and gave us time to get to know each other. That’s something you can’t put a price on.”

My chest felt as though helium had filled my chest, and a warm glow spread from my heart throughout my body. I took the key from my grandfather‘s outstretched hand, gave him a bright smile as he nodded to me. I slid in behind the wheel of my car, the door hanging open so I could share this feeling with my grandfather. I placed the key in the ignition, and the car responded with a cheery tune, not a crappy buzz or weak dinging, but a distinctive three note tune.

With a final glance at my grandfather I turned the key. The engine turned quickly, sputtered and purred into life. It was smooth, a steady hum that brought elation and pride in a job not only done, but done right.

“I’m taking a shower. Get a pan ready for the oil and grab that bag by the tool cabinet; it has the gasket, and filter.” I nodded at him as he left the room and I sat in my car as it idled. I gave it a touch of gas and the engine responded smoothly, the car rocking with a quiet power. This wasn’t the type of raw, balls to the wall power like Mabel. This was refined, responding to my touch with grace rather than a growl.

I thought in my car, on Christmas Eve, with snow coming down and my new pride and joy. I thought about my friends, my new family and Jake. I realized finally, an epiphany if you will, what I would give Jake.

My grandfather came out dressed in jeans and a button up shirt. I shut the car off and he had me jack it up, drain the oil and replace the washer on the plug in the oil pan, making sure to lube the threads. He then had me remove the filter and then lube the O-Ring on the new filter before screwing it in place by hand. Once the new oil was in, we started it back up and waited for the oil light to go out and to confirm there were no leaks.

“So the very last thing we do is add the plates.” My grandfather handed me a set of plates and a screwdriver. I eagerly went from the front to the back, adding my new plates. My grandfather disconnected the exhaust hose and opened the passenger door.

“Ok, let’s go to Yip’s, see how she handles.”

“He.”

“What? Cars, boats, always are feminine.”

“Not this one; it’s all male.” I smiled at him.

“All right then, let’s take him for a spin!”

He climbed into the passenger side and I sat behind the wheel. Seatbelts were locked, mirrors were adjusted, and the garage door was closed. Dammit. I jumped out and opened the door quickly and grabbed the remote from my grandfather‘s car. Reseated and buckled, I put the Quantum into first gear and eased him out of the garage, the car responding with casual ease. I pushed the button to close the garage door as we eased out into the snowy night, under the Quantum’s sure tread. While we were on our way to Yip’s officially, I had decided I needed to make a side trip. I wasn’t going to pick Jake up, this moment belonged to my grandfather and I, but I did need to see him if only for a moment.

I knocked on his front door moments later and opened the door.

“Fuck do you want?” Jake’s dad grunted.

“Your son,” I replied tartly as I passed him and headed to Jake’s room. He was sprawled out on his bed, watching Jackass. I think.

“Hey, I was just thinking about you,” Jake gave me a lazy smile and held his arms out to me.

I planted a kiss on his lips and then held him tightly, my mouth near his ear.

“I can’t stay, but I needed to see you for a minute.” I held him closely, feeling his chest solidly pressed to mine. The rise and fall of his breath relaxing me.

“Jake, I’ve been struggling with what to get you for Christmas. I found a couple of small things, but I’ve been really working to find something that tells you just what you mean to me, you know the ‘perfect gift’.”

“Kris…”

“Shhh. Just listen. I didn’t have the money to get what I thought would be best, but I finally realized that nothing material would do. Jake, I love you so much and for so many reasons and what I give you, I hope is enough. I give you my love, my heart, the world that I have isn’t possible without you. I’ve had so many good things happen to me, I have a strong place to build myself at home now but the rest is you.”

I pulled back and looked into his eyes, large and wet with emotion and I gently kissed him.

* * *

Snow fell, Yip’s gave my grandfather gas, and I finally realized that what was really important was to spend time with the ones I loved. What better way to show them you loved them back?

12-24-2007
Dabeagle
Dedicated to My father, Max Schreiber 1936-2003

~Epilogue~

“Henry, have you seen this?” Eleanor stomped into the garage, flowered hat askew and a look of muley determination on her aged face.

“Seen what? What’s that?” My grandfather reached out for the paper in her hand.

“It says that the high school is taking reservations for the Spring Formal. This is the first I’ve heard of it, have you been keeping this from me?”

“Hide a way to make Jake and Kris squirm? I thought you knew me better than that.”

I did begin to squirm as both elderly sets of eyes zeroed in on me. Of course, Jake and I had both known the dance was coming, and we had talked about going, but it seemed like such a big step. Not that Jake and I hadn’t been in public together, but this is a redneck, ignorant town so we had taken sensible precautions. To do this, to dare to be treated as equals, would be like waving a red flag in a bull’s face.

“Did you know about this, Kristopher?”

“Yes.”

“Did you plan to say anything?” My grandfather asked.

“No, not really.”

“You realize you have just as much right to go as anyone else?” Eleanor questioned.

“Yes, I do. We do.”

“And?”

“It’s not worth it. We thought we’d just go out to dinner and…”

“Kristopher! Your Spring Formal is a memory to have forever! These occasions are the things you remember fondly as you get older. The ambiance, the revelry, dancing close with the one you love…”

“Getting laid afterward,” my grandfather interjected.

“Philistine.”

“Realist.” He smirked at her.

“Regardless of your motivation, this is something you ought not to miss.” She looked at my grandfather. “Henry, how about we go down to the high school?”

“Little long in the tooth for those boys, aren’t you?”

“Henry, get in the damned car.”

He raised an eyebrow and went to wash his hands. I sighed and decided I had better talk to Jake so we could form a defense against some well meaning septuagenarians. I went inside and changed before heading to Jake’s, because he complained if I showed up in my ‘grease monkey’ clothes. I headed out and was mentally making notes about how to talk to him about this as I went. I wasn’t lying when I said we had discussed it and decided it was too much trouble, but the thing that could tip the scales would be to continue to have this conversation without Jake’s father around.

I had learned that, in general, if Jake’s dad said yes, Jake said no and vice versa. So talking to Jake without his dad was critical in order for us not to get humiliated and killed all in the same night. The last time this subject was brought up and I expressed concern for our safety my grandfather and Eleanor offered to chaperone. I would move mountains to avoid that. If Jake’s dad told him he was forbidden, we would surely go.

When I got to Jake’s the alien informed me that he had gone to the high school to play basketball with JR, so I headed over there. Now, I could have called, but as a rule if I am going to interact with Jake, I’d prefer to do it in person.

Pulling up to the high school I went inside to find him. Our school has open gym days after school until about six o’clock, overseen by the various gym teachers. I didn’t have to go as far as the gym to find Jake and JR fooling around in the hallway, shoving each other and giggling.

“This looks like there’s a story behind it.” I remarked. Jake looked up and grinned at me and JR laughed a little more.

Before I got the story from them, I heard the undeniable sound of Eleanor. Now I’m sure that the principal wouldn’t normally engage in verbal pugilism in the hallway, but Eleanor wasn’t the kind of person to stay in the office and keep it civilized either.

“Why would you make such a rule if it’s not to discriminate? How can you claim to be acting in the best interests of all the students when you make rules to restrict their ability to fully partake in school functions!”

I looked at Jake and he at me with eyes as wide as dinner plates. JR’s grin merely grew.

“Quite frankly, Ma’am,” the principle replied, clearly restraining his temper, “this is a God fearing town. We have a lot of church goers and they will not tolerate this kind of deviant behavior in their schools and around their children. In fact, allowing those two into the dance as a couple is not only against scripture, not only would it cause an uproar in the school, but it does in fact go against nature!”

“So, ah, the kid in the wheelchair who plays in the band, he‘s not allowed to go?” My grandfather asked, his deep voice carrying down the hallway.

“What? Of course not!”

“But the section of Leviticus you quote goes on to say nasty things about cripples and people with funny noses, or blemishes of any kind. If a pimple can be rightly referred to as a blemish, most of your kids are disqualified right there.”

“You are deliberately twisting the Bible to fit your own ends!”

“No, Principal Walters, that’s what you are doing. We are merely pointing out your own hypocrisy to you.”

Principal Walters stared at the old couple in front of him, his eyes bulging from their sockets. “I cannot allow them in, the town will not stand for it. Good day!”

“Oh, yes it will be, I’m sure. Probably not for you though. I want you to know, Walters that I am calling lawyers and TV stations when I leave here and, if you’ll forgive the term, I’m going to crucify you.” My grandfather smiled at Walters.

“Do you understand what you are doing?” Walters sounded near hysterical.

“Yes, but that is one of the benefits of a mind that continues to think for itself, instead of allowing its gears to be clogged by the cobwebs of faith. I would think, as an educated man you could see that. But I forget, you are no longer a teacher, merely an administrator.” Eleanor sniffed and hooked her arm through my grandfather’s. “Come, Henry, we have work to do.

“What the fuck are they doing?” Jake hissed to me. I swallowed hard.

“Looks like they are trying to give Walters a stroke!” JR giggled.

“I was trying to find you to talk to you before this happened!” I turned to Jake.

“I can’t help it if I wasn’t home. JR asked me to come play basketball with a bunch of guys with their shirts off. How could I say no!”

“Hey!” JR poked him, “You like basketball!”

“That’s why he liked basketball,” I muttered. Jake merely grinned in insolence.

“No time to fight. You guys going to the prom, or are you gonna head off the Geritol Task Force?”

I grabbed Jake’s hand, “Come on!” I urged.

“No.”

“What?”

“No. Babe, I’m sick of this. The school knows. They gave us some shit, but most of them have moved on; even they know other shit is more important. Let them do this, let them rile the town up. What do we care? We don’t go to school with these kids’ parents, and the kids just don’t give a damn, mostly.”

“But…Jake, what about the rest of it? The whole town knowing, the staring…”

“Let them stare.” He stepped close to me and placed a hand on the back of my neck while smiling to me. “I only said no to going before ’cause you wanted me to. I want everyone to know. We’re not some dirty secret; we’re just in love. The people that will be angriest at us will be the ones who don’t have the love we do.”

“Does he always talk like this to you? ’Cause the only time he says things like that to me is after he cums,” JR said matter of factly. I stared at him for a moment before he burst out laughing and I slowly smiled back at him. There was something seriously wrong with him.


“No, you’re not going. I forbid it.”

“Ok, that’ll stop me. Mom, what do you think?”

“Al, it’s a school dance. Of course he should be able to go. Stop being so mean.”

“Why can’t he go with a girl?” he growled.

“Because he’s gay, and he has Kris. I thought you understood that?”

“It’s a phase. Don’t encourage him,” Jake’s dad said as he retreated from the room. Jake’s mom rolled her eyes at his back.

“We should get you a tux. Let‘s go to the mall and look!” His mom smiled in pride at her son, and he visibly squirmed.

“Kris, wanna go help me with a tux?” he mumbled.

“Oh no, you don’t,” his mom jumped in. “No offense, Kris. If I’m springing for a tux, I want to pick it out, and if you are there Jake will pay no attention to the tux, me or the world around him.” She smiled at us both. “Besides, you don’t look at your date’s clothes before you go. That would be weird. You guys should be surprised at how the other looks when you meet. Now, scoot!” She waved her hands at me. I smiled at Jake and headed out of the house. Jake, of course, caught me in the living room and gave me a languishing kiss goodbye in front of his father. My boyfriend will one day die by his father‘s hand, I think.


When I got back to the garage Eleanor and my grandfather were hunched together around the kitchen table, studying the phone book.

“What are you guys doing?” I asked while getting a drink.

“Looking for a listing in the book for ‘Gay Lawyers’,” My grandfather muttered.

“You’d think there would be an easier way…” Eleanor moved her finger down the ‘G’ section, lips moving as she studied each name.

I decided not to tell them about the internet; better to leave them with old technology.

“Oh, look, there is a Gay and Lesbian Task Force listed here. I wonder if they’d give the boys an armed escort?”

“Will you guys cut it out? Why don’t you go to a school board meeting or something? Besides, there is only about a month to the dance. You’ll never get a lawyer and all that stuff set up before then. Let it go.”

“Yes! The School Board! That is the way to go. Good thinking, Kris!” And just like that, they were mobile again. I groaned and walked into the living room to plop down on the couch. Yes, I was moping and I knew it. Things had gone along predictably in my father’s house. This past year here had been non-stop change and there was more on the way. I’d like the chance to just catch my breath.

I’d love for Jess to show up now, or Bryan, just to bounce some ideas off of. Jake was no good for that; he’d just make little jokes until I was ready to choke him. Or he’d kiss me and claim it was just to get me to stop talking. Ass.

I sipped my drink and wondered about this whole situation, how it almost seemed as though Eleanor and my grandfather…holy crap. If ever there were two people who needed someone else in their life, it was them. I think they consciously know that, but they are both too damn stubborn to admit it, so instead they’ll come together to destroy my life instead.

Ok, maybe I was being a bit dramatic, but the things they were talking about doing to the principal were mind numbing. Lawyers? Newspapers? The evening freaking news? I had to do something, and fast. Jake would be no help, so I’d have to make it a way that we could go to the dance and not have to jump through all the other hoops. But how? I decided to take my own advice and looked on the internet, and there at last I had a few good ideas. Time to call a war meeting.


“Hey guys, thanks for coming.” I greeted everyone matter of factly. Bryan, Jake, Jess, and JR were in attendance, curiously looking at me.

“My grandfather, who shall be forever known as the Mad Scientist, and Eleanor, who is otherwise known as the Bride of Frankenstein, have teamed up. I need you guys to help me beat them to the punch.”

“What are they doing, exactly?” Jess asked.

Jake jumped in and JR added impressions of the voices of grandpa, Eleanor, and Walters in the school hallway. Jake made a very tender proclamation similar to the one he made to me in the hallway, but a lot sappier so as to embarrass me mightily. It worked. I was beet red, and took much abuse from around the table, much to Jake and JR’s satisfaction. I may have to separate them.

“The plan is two stage. First step, which I did, was to contact Lambda Legal and ask a few questions, mainly that rights have already been won in other states for situations like this, so there is legal ground for a lawsuit, which can be costly. Nobody likes that.

“So with that behind us, it’d be nice to know we won’t be made into piñatas once we get there, so I’d like to start a petition with the students. It’s really basic, they can sign their name in support of letting us go with who they want, and extend that to folks who are dates from another school. Now, legally it carries no weight, but I think if push comes to shove that we can use it as a show of support.” I smiled at the group, “It would be embarrassing for parents if they are whining about not wanting their kids exposed to that when their kid says they don’t mind.”

“I think that’s a good idea, especially if we can get it in time for the Board of Education meeting this month. It’s only a few weeks away, I think,” Bryan noted.

“So that’s the plan. If we could sabotage the school newspaper, that’d be the only other thing.”

“Oh, I can do something along those lines.” JR grinned.

We all looked at him.

“When the paper comes out they have folks take the bundles and drop them in the baskets for students to pick up. The local printer who does the job drops the papers off on the loading dock out back, and they move them to the media lab after that till they get distributed the next day.

“Thing is, the Media Lab stays unlocked until after the school closes, so I could get in there and put an insert in or something, a leaflet that folks could read as they picked up the paper.”

“Kind of like a coupon in the Sunday Paper!” Jess squealed.

“Yeah.” JR grinned.

“That’s awesome man, I…I could kiss you!” Jake batted his eyes and JR made the sign of the cross at him.


That night I told my grandfather our battle plan, and he agreed it was a good one. He’d found a lawyer who would represent us if it went that far, and then he thought it would be a good idea if we all went to the Board Meeting. That’s how it came to be that we sat in a meeting in the cafeteria of the board of education. Armed with our petition, which had caused some uproar when word spread that it was making the rounds, and that was mostly from parents. There were a few students who made a fuss, but by and large I have to admit Jake was right – most really didn’t care.

Finally, the issue came before the board and we all went up to address them. A small knot of parents were there to oppose us, but they seemed to be just a very few. Their leader, I guess, stood to speak for his allotted thirty seconds. He quoted Bible verses, and worked himself into an impressive froth for just thirty seconds.

My grandfather and Eleanor spearheaded our group as our turn came to speak, and no one was more surprised than I when Bryan took the podium before anyone else could get there.

“I’ve heard an awful lot of people talk about how my friends shouldn’t be allowed to go because they are gay, because the Bible says they shouldn’t be allowed to be who they are. I have heard nothing about fairness, human rights, or basically anything outside of religion. Last time I checked, this was a public school, not a Catholic, Jewish, or anything even close to parochial. The school board doesn’t make its rules, neither does the district for that matter, based on biblical teachings, or the laws of the Koran, the Talmud, or the signs of the Zodiac. There are students, students of this school and they want to go to the dance. They should be allowed to go, just like any other student.”

I have to say I was impressed. I don’t think I had heard Bryan use that many words outside of automobiles. My Grandfather made his way up to the podium while Jake and I shook Bryan’s hand and thanked him.

“Well, the Bible says homosexuality is abomination. ‘Cept there is abomination and there is unclean. It’s been known for a long time that the translation of the Bible that says abomination is a mistake, except if you believe the Bible is the word of God. If so, that Bible also says it’s ok to sell your daughters into slavery. It also says it’s an abomination to eat shellfish and pork. When’s the last time these folks came down to protest pork chops being on the menu?

“If that’s the word of God, he’s pretty sad, and as supreme beings go, he shoulda been tossed out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. If you believe God created AIDS to punish the gays, which is ignorant, you have to believe God powered the researchers who have discovered the drugs that are now extending people’s lives who have AIDS.” He turned and looked at the small group of protesters. “Any God that discriminates as much as yours does doesn’t deserve to be God. And I don’t think he gives a rat‘s ass about two boys going to the dance together.”

Eleanor was fast on his heels to make her two cents known. “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” she scolded the group of protesters. “You think these boys are an abomination and a half dozen people is all the outrage you can muster? Apparently the rest of the community, and rightly so, has more important things to do. The Board knows that not only are the students well within school rules, for there are no rules prohibiting two members of the same sex from attending a school function, according to the student manual current for this year. That is of course in direct opposition to the information the Principal provided to me.

“Even if the board were so inclined to create such a rule now, I’d like to remind them that there are already court rulings on the books preventing you from allowing this sort of discrimination. If the board chooses to do so, I would remind them also that not only would it piss me off royally, I’d also be forced to call lawyers in and cost the school system hundreds of thousands in legal fees to justify its bigotry. Make no mistake, while I certainly hope that the school board is not comprised of individuals that would allow such a thing, I am long out of touch with day to day school operations.

“But if you long for the day we are ruled by religion and its rules, as we were once. It was called the Dark Ages.”

After deliberating for a very few minutes, and chastising Eleanor for her abrasive argument, the board voted 6-1 to allow Jake and I equal access. We were going to the dance.

I’d like to tell you that there were lots of protesters and we made quite a splash at the dance, but after the fireworks at the Board Meeting, no one really seemed to care. We danced together like other couples, got stern looks for kissing like the other couples and before the dance was over Jake was suggesting we break in my back seat.

“No, I will not have sex in a car, and you will not leave pecker tracks on my seats,” I laughed at him.

It was funny, though, Eleanor was right. I guess the night was magic, due to us being just like everyone else. We were normal, who knew?

The End

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