Opposing Forces

Chapter 12

By Jeff

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“You want some ice cream, Dwayne?” Aaron asked, focused at the ice cream store ahead.

I considered it for a second and replied, “No, I’m still full from lunch.”

“Alright,” Aaron said. “Well, I’m going to get myself a scoop of chocolate on a waffle cone, I’ll be right back!”

Aaron ran to the store excitedly, he was acting like a little kid on a sugar hype. I laughed inwardly, as Aaron stood in front of the counter and gawked at the variety of flavors.

I walked up behind him, “Just pick a flavor, doofus.”

He turned around and smiled, “You know how indecisive I am, how about you pick a flavor for me?”

“And what if I pick a flavor you despise?”

“I’m sure I’ll love whatever flavor you choose,” he responded sweetly.

“Fine,” I replied with a small smile, “Get pistachio.”

He made an apparent face, “Okay, maybe not any flavor. I’ll just stick to chocolate.”

He gave his order to the guy behind the counter and turned back around.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” he asked, staring into my eyes.

“Have I told you lately that you’ve listened to one too many love songs?” I retorted.

The guy gave Aaron his cone, and he paid for his ice cream. We left the store, and Aaron placed his arm around my neck and shoulder.

“I love you, Dwayne,” he said seriously. “I know it is too soon, but I just feel it.”

Aaron and I have been dating for over three months, yet I felt no desire to commit. I really like Aaron, he was a smart, intelligent, witty guy. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to say the L- word.

“I, uh, um, god...” I stuttered, slapping my forehead. “I’m such a blabbering idiot. Smooth, huh?”

Aaron stopped his walking and turned, “I know you are still worried about getting hurt, but I promise never to hurt you.”

“Aaron, I really don’t believe in promises. Promises are easy to make but hard to keep.”

“Look into my eyes,” Aaron instructed.

I gazed into his eyes, and I saw compassion and love. I broke my trance and picked up my pace.

Aaron followed me, “You can’t keep running away, Dwayne. Sooner or later, someone will come along and want to spend the rest of his life with you. You can’t keep living in fear or in denial. You live and learn.”

“Easier said than done,” I muttered, my gaze lowered to the ground. “Aaron, I think I’m going to head home early. Too much stuff cluttered in my head right now, I just need to unwind and process.”

Aaron looked uncertain, “Sure, uh, Dwayne...we’re still going to double date this weekend with Brad and Clarissa right?”

I started toward my car, “Yeah, I’ll see you Friday.”

“I’ll call you,” he called after me.

“Sure.”

~OF~

“You’re really something,” Ryan said, after hearing my story. “This guy has it bad for you, the least you could do was give the poor guy a chance.”

We were sitting on my bed with our Spanish textbooks and notebooks between us, but I could hardly concentrate on the assignment.

“We’re dating aren’t we?” I retorted. “Besides, we’re going to college in a few months, and I don’t want to have to say goodbye or break it off.”

“Three words,” Ryan said. “Long distance relationship.”

“And they all lead to failure,” I replied. “Face it Ryan, I am better off a crazy spinster with cats.”

“If you keep talking like a mad person, you might become a crazy spinster with cats.”

Mom knocked on the door, “Hey boys, dinner is ready. Go ahead and take a break from talking and come downstairs.”

We grinned, we were caught not doing our homework. We rushed to the bathroom, and we ran downstairs to the dining hall for dinner. Ben and Dad were already at the table, and Mom put the last dish on the table. Everyone devoured the home-cooked meal, leaving conversation to a minimal level.

“Are you still seeing that Aaron guy?” Dad asked.

I looked up, “Yeah, uh, we’re just dating.”

“How long has it been, three months?” Mom asked.

“More like three years,” Ryan piped in.

Ben laughed.

I stared at Ryan, “Well, sorry, Casanova. Not everyone can be as smooth as you and your flings and escapades.”

“You should bring Aaron over for dinner sometime,” Mom suggested. “I barely see the guy.”

“Mom,” Ben said. “DWAYNE hardly sees him. Dwayne is doing his ‘keeping his distance’ thing again.”

“Thank you,” Ryan agreed. “I’ve been trying to tell him that for weeks now.”

“Excuse me,” I piped in. “I AM still at the table, ya know?”

“We know,” Ben replied. “Feel free to pipe in with an excuse.”

My parents chuckled.

“I am not making up any excuses. I just have a lot on my plate right now with school, ASB, and college stuff that I don’t have any time to be in a serious relationship. Come on Dad, back me up, you are always telling me to prioritize.”

“I do lecture you on your priorities, Dwayne,” Dad agreed. “But I also think you should seize every opportunity you get in life. Otherwise, you’ll live in constant regret.”

“Thank you again,” Ryan responded. “Dwayne, if you’re not going to listen to me, your best chum, at least listen to your parents.”

“I wish everyone would just leave me alone,” I said, stuffing my mouth with rice.

“We only care about you dear,” Mom replied. “That’s why we are picking on you. This Aaron kid is nice, and I know Tyler hasn’t been easy on you...”

“You’re right, it hasn’t.”

“But Aaron really cares for you,” Mom continued. “I still think you should bring him by for dinner...”

“I wish everyone would just stop living my life for me!” I yelled suddenly. “I appreciate everyone’s concern and sympathy, but at this moment, maybe I don’t want to be in a relationship. Maybe I’m starting to like this single status deal, I WAS single for a good sixteen years before Tyler. Now, if you will all excuse me, I have some Spanish and math homework to do.”

I took my dishes to the kitchen and stormed up to my bedroom. I opened up the textbook, but the words were blurry and extremely hard to read.

“Damn it,” I said, slamming my book down frustratingly. “I need to get some fresh air.”

I grabbed my jacket and walked down the stairs. My family was still eating, and their voices dropped to a quieter volume. Probably still plotting a scheme of how to run my life, I thought bitterly. I opened the door and stepped outdoors. The door shut behind me, and I walked toward a random direction. I found myself walking toward the park, and I just focused on the concrete sidewalk ahead of me. Five minutes later, I arrived at the small park. I stood on the bridge, and I leaned downward to hear the cool, crisp, running water.

“You might want to be careful,” a voice behind me said. “You wouldn’t want to fall.”

I turned around, and Tyler stood there. He was wearing some running pants, a sweaty t-shirt, and running shoes. He was looking good, I admitted to myself. Dammit, I do not need focus on my ex’s looks.

“Taking a jog?” I asked casually.

“Same time, every day,” he responded. “I started to do this for about a year, it’s actually pretty relaxing. It gets all my frustrations out, and I get to sort through all the shit that’s in my head.”

I replied, “Sounds kinda good, maybe I should give this jogging thing a go.”

Tyler chuckled.

His dimples.

If it was one thing that made Tyler even more attractive, his dimples were an amazing asset. Still a few inches taller than me, his blonde hair grew to wavier locks, and his face and body tanned to a darker tone. Stop–thinking–about–Tyler, I said to myself. In fact, that’s all I was thinking lately. I’d think about how great Aaron is, then I’d find myself thinking about Tyler, who gave me my space for a few months now.

“You doing okay?” Tyler asked, concerned.

“Actually, I’m not okay,” I answered honestly. “I feel like my head is going to explode.”

“I know how that feels,” he said. “You want to talk? I’ve got some time to spare before hitting the books.”

“Sure,” I said, heading toward a bench behind us.

Tyler followed suit, and he sat beside me and stared seriously at me.

“Well,” I began. “I started to date someone.”

“Aaron,” he stated. “I know.”

“He said the L–word to me today,” I continued. “I feel weird, telling you this stuff. You are my ex.”

“Yea,” he said and smiled, “But you’re still my friend.”

I nodded, “Well, I just froze. Aaron said that he loved me, and I just froze up. I couldn’t even piece a simple sentence together without stuttering or blubbering like a moron.”

Tyler laughed, “You have always been really antsy around the love department Dwayne.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were never too fond of showing your affection through the L–word,” he answered. “When I said it to you, you would always just blush or shrug it off. You have a real problem to commitment.”

“How can you say that? I was with you for over a year, and I was there....committing.”

“And I know it was my stupidity that ruined it,” he replied. “But, you were never too fond of showing affection. You just saw our relationship as another task for you to perfect and organize. You had a boyfriend, check. Your boyfriend was jealous, check. You were very autopilot with our relationship. You just seem to throw the towel in every time, you must’ve threaten to break up with me at least ten times before we actually did.”

“That’s not true,” I mumbled, trying to regain some pride.

“It’s true,” Tyler retorted. “And you know it. Love is scary. Love is all about taking risks.”

I cracked a smile, “Well, listen to your fancy talking, relationship guru.”

“I’ve been seeing a therapist.”

“No kidding. A shrink?” I replied, flabbergasted. “I sent you to get a shrink?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Carmichael,” he said. “I just needed to sort out my priorities and problems. Dr. Fleming’s my shrink, she’s really helpful. If you ever need a session...”

“Thanks,” I responded quickly. “But I think I’ll weight this one out by myself.”

“And that’s another thing...” Tyler added. “You always take the burden onto yourself. Communicate. Dwayne. Communication is key.”

I pondered for a few minutes, “I’m starting to think your infidelity was not the only problem in our relationship.”

He sighed, “Yea, I guess not.”

We stood idly by, and I asked, “So, are you seeing anyone?”

“Actually, I am seeing another guy.”

The words took me by surprised.

“Wow,” I choked out. “That’s great.”

I was beginning to feel what Tyler must’ve felt....jealousy, hurt....

“His name is Ian, and he’s a junior from a neighboring high school.”

“That is so great,” I replied. “And I’m reading great things about you in the school’s paper. They say you have a real good shot at UCLA.”

“Wouldn’t that be awesome if I got in with my grades and athletic ability?”

Tyler flashed me his melting smile.

“Yes, that would be rad.”

I smiled back.

“I...uh...missed you Dwayne,” he said softly.

“I know Tyler,” I answered. “I missed you too.”

Tyler embraced me, and I felt my head fit neatly on his shoulder. I began to sob silently on his shoulder, my tears staining his shirt.

“Look at me,” I said, wiping my tears. “I’m such a basket case.”

Tyler gave me a sympathetic pat, “You’re not a basket case. You’re just emotionally distressed. I think we both got what we needed...”

I looked up, and I understood. We found closure.

Tyler finally let go, “I’ll see you around.”

I watched Tyler jog lightly away from me, and I turned my gaze toward the river below the bridge. I took a deep breath and began my walk toward home. Great, I thought. I’ll have to deal with Ryan, Ben, and my parents. But a huge chip was lifted off my shoulder, I was finally at peace with Tyler. No hostility, animosity, or confusion. I did need that. I saw Ryan’s car in the driveway still, which meant he was awaiting my return in my room.

I opened the door lightly, and my parents were still in the kitchen.

“Uh...um...Mom, Dad, I’m back.”

“Okay honey,” Mom answered back. “I’ll come up and see you after the dishes.”

I took small steps up the stairs and walked toward my room.

“Hey,” Ryan started quietly.

“Hey,” I replied, walking into my room. “Glad you didn’t finish the Spanish homework without me.”

He looked at the blank notebooks and grinned, “Yea, I just wasn’t in the mood to finish Spanish.”

“Are you EVER in the mood for Spanish?”

He nodded, “Okay, point taken. Hey, we’re cool, right?”

“We’re cool as a cucumber,” I promised.

“I just want you to be happy,” he replied. “Even if it means being bitchy and pushy.”

“Don’t forget critical also.”

“Work with me, Dwayne.”

I smirked.

“But yes, I get overboard sometimes, and I try to run your life. Sometimes, I shouldn’t. I should just mind my own business.”

“In other words,” I added. “You should butt OUT?”

“You have my word,” he held up his hand. “I will butt out forever.”

“Scouts honor?”

“Dwayne, we’re not in the scouts.”

We laughed.

I gave Ryan a big hug, “I love you big guy.”

“Right back at ya.”

~OF~

“You got everything?” Dad asked, taking a deep glance.

“I think so,” I said, my hands stuffed into my pocket.

“I’ll miss you,” Mom said, her teary-eyes glistening.

“I’ll miss you too,” I said, giving Mom a big hug.

Ben and Annie stood nearby, I walked toward them.

“This is it,” I said lamely. “College.”

Annie smiled, “I’m seriously right by Dwayne, if you have any problems or you get lonely, you give me a call.”

“I will sis.”

Ben looked downward.

“Ben?” I said. “You’re not going to cry, are you?”

Ben looked up quickly with a sad smile, “Yea, right. You’re so full of it, Dwayne. I wouldn’t cry for you if...”

I interrupted Ben with a giant hug. Ben enveloped me tightly and patted my back.

My mother was on the verge of sobbing and wailing, and Dad was getting antsy. I ushered my family into the family car, and I watched Dad pull away. I waved. I could see silhouettes of waves through the tinted window.

This is it. I, Dwayne Louis Carmichael, am officially out of the Carmichael nest. I am entering the next stage of my life: college. I turned around and looked up at my large dorm building and entered it. I went up several flights of stairs and wove through the crowd of incoming freshmen to my room. Finally, I entered my domain. I was exhausted and relief. School was due to start in four days, and the next few days will be spent with social dances, mixers, and orientation barbeque. I plopped onto my bed and closed my eyes.

“Hey roomie,” a voice spoke behind me.

I ran up and gave him a big kiss on the lips, “I missed you Aaron-poo.”

“Awww, did you?” he said, kissing me back. “Well, I’m here. Forever.”

“Forever?” I asked, giving him a questioning glance.

“Yes, forever.”

I practically leapt into Aaron’s arms. A soft cough interrupted our moment.

“Can you two get a room?”

“Uh...Ryan, hello, we DID!”

We laughed, meanwhile, Ryan looked dumbfounded.

“I definitely regret signing up for a triple with you guys,” Ryan said, smacking his forehead.

“Awww...but you LOVE us,” I cooed.

I gave Aaron a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

Aaron caught on, “Let’s get him.”

“No, no, no,” Ryan said, as he cornered himself onto the bed. “No double teaming against me. That’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair, Knickerbocker,” Aaron retorted.

And we pounced onto Ryan’s bed.

“Tickle him!”

We had Ryan squirming for a good five minutes, and we finally let him free. He got up and tried to regain composure.

“I really should hate you two,” Ryan replied, feigning anger.

“But you can’t,” I replied simply.

“Only good times ahead,” Aaron chimed in. “Hey, look who made front page of the orientation flyer.”

Aaron handed me the flyer and I read, “Freshman recruit, Tyler Callihan, plans to lead Bruins to playoffs.”

“That’s my boy,” I whispered.

I always believed in you, Tyler.

“You’re my boy now,” Aaron said, giving me a tight squeeze. “I love you.”

I looked up and, without hesitation, said, “I love you too, Aaron.”

The End------------El Fin------------

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