All Lost Things

Book 3 of the Killian Kendall Mysteries

By Josh Aterovis
Copyright 2026

email

Chapter 3

I paused my studying when I heard Asher take another deep breath behind me, as if he were about to say something. But, just like the last five times, he let it out in a quiet sigh instead, words swallowed before they could form.

I gritted my teeth and tried to focus on calculus. This was my last final, and I was determined to crush it. Most of my exams had been waived because my grades were so high, but math was my weak spot, so I still had to face the calc test. The problem was I'd been staring at the same page for ten minutes. I knew Asher had something on his mind, but he seemed to be having trouble getting it out. He'd said he was coming over to study, yet he hadn't turned a page in his history book since he arrived.

Then the sighing started again.

I'd had it. I spun around in my desk chair. "What?"

He looked up at me with a startled expression from his spot on my bed, sprawled on his stomach, history book between his elbows. "Huh?"

"I can tell you have something you want to say, so spit it out already. The suspense is killing me!"

A half smile formed on his lips. "You know me too well."

"Ash, you've been sighing so much I thought you were going to pass out from lack of oxygen. What's going on?"

He pushed his textbook aside and sat up, sitting cross-legged. "It's about Caleb..."

I bit my bottom lip, trying to keep my expression in check. Honestly, I was getting tired of hearing about Caleb. It seemed like everything was about him these days — Caleb this, Caleb that. The more Asher talked about him, the more I couldn't shake the feeling that something more was going on. Maybe Asher was starting to develop a crush.

"What about him?" I asked as neutrally as possible.

"Okay, see...this is hard. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, but I really need to talk to somebody about it."

I opened my arms wide. "If you can't trust me, who can you trust?"

Asher looked down at the bed. "Yeah. Okay. He, um...he told me his dad abuses him."

I blinked in surprise. That wasn't what I'd been expecting. "Abuses him how?"

"Hits him. Beats him up." Asher's voice was low, troubled. He still wouldn't look up at me.

"Oh my God, that's horrible! Shouldn't you report it to someone or something?"

He shrugged. "I don't think it would do any good. People have reported it before and nothing happened."

"What do you mean nothing happened?"

He looked up at me, and I could see frustration and pain in his eyes. "Just what I said — nothing happened. Social Services came out and investigated, but Caleb's dad told them he was only defending himself, that Caleb was a troubled kid and had attacked him. They believed him. It's so stupid."

I thought for a minute, then carefully asked my next question. "How do you know his dad isn't telling the truth?" Asher stared at me dumbfounded, but I persisted. "What if Caleb did attack his dad? How do you know he's actually being abused?"

"Have you seen Caleb? He's little. How would he be a threat to anyone?"

"Think about it, Ash. If the authorities investigated, don't you think they would have found signs of abuse if there were any?"

"Maybe they did a crappy job, or maybe they just believed Caleb's dad over Caleb. I don't know, but I do know Caleb wouldn't lie to me."

"You've only known him a few weeks."

"What difference does that make? Besides, why would he make something like that up?"

"Kane said he was kind of a loner. Maybe he said it to get your attention, to get you to feel sorry for him."

"I can't believe this. You're blaming the victim!"

"You don't even know if there is a victim."

"I thought you of all people would understand."

I frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your dad abused you."

I sat back in my chair and stared at Asher in stunned silence. He at least had the grace to look a little guilty. Finally, I found my voice. "First off, my father punched me up when he found out I was gay. Before that, he never laid a hand on me. Secondly, what the hell does that have to do with Caleb?"

"I'm sorry, Kill. I just expected you to be more sympathetic." He was back to staring at my bedspread.

Why wasn't I being more sympathetic? I thought about it for a few seconds, and I had to admit it was because I was jealous.

I sighed. "Do you want me to talk to him or something?"

Asher's head snapped up. "No! He'd freak out if he knew I'd told you."

"Then what did you expect me to do?"

"I don't know. I guess I needed to talk to somebody about it. It's kind of a lot to deal with, you know?"

He sounded so pathetic that I suddenly felt horrible for giving him such a hard time. I sat beside him on the bed and put my arms around him. "I'm sorry. I'm being an insensitive jerk. I can't imagine having that kind of knowledge and not being able to tell anyone. You must feel so helpless."

Asher nodded his head against my shoulder. "I wish I knew what to do."

I squeezed him tighter. "Me, too."

I was walking down the hall at school the next day when I turned the corner and saw Asher talking to Caleb. They were standing close together, their heads tilted toward each other conspiratorially.

I felt a jolt of jealousy, which I quickly tried to tamp down. Caleb simply needed someone to talk to. He was going through a difficult time — so he claimed. Still, I decided it wouldn't be interrupting to stop and say hello to my boyfriend.

"Hey, Ash. Hi, Caleb."

Caleb jumped back guiltily and turned away. Asher gave me a dirty look. Okay, obviously I had interrupted something after all.

"I, uh, just wanted to say hi." I tried to keep the suspicion out of my voice.

"Hi," Asher said curtly.

Caleb glanced in my direction before quickly averting his eyes again. He wasn't quick enough to hide the huge shiner he was sporting. I couldn't hold back my gasp of surprise.

Caleb's shoulders slumped, and he turned to face me with a resigned look. The black eye was even worse upon closer inspection. It was an angry dark purple that surrounded his bloodshot eye and covered half his cheek.

"I fell in the shower," he said in a flat tone. He clearly didn't care whether I believed him or not.

Asher gave me another pointed look. I got the message. "I'd better get to class," I said weakly, then hastily walked off.

The dead look in Caleb's eyes haunted me for the rest of the day. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I was glad I didn't have any finals that day or I surely would have failed them. As soon as the last bell of the afternoon rang, I rushed to find Asher. I caught up to him at his locker.

"So what are you going to do?" I asked.

He jumped a little, then spun to face me with a deep frown. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you."

"I meant earlier, with Caleb."

"I thought I was saying hello to my boyfriend."

"Caleb freaked out when you left."

"He didn't seem that freaked out while I was there. Besides, how was I supposed to know he had a black eye? So, what? I can't talk to you anymore when you're with him? I have to keep my distance?"

He sighed. "No. You're right." He turned back to his locker and pulled out a book, then knelt down to put it in his backpack. "I'm just really upset about the whole situation."

I leaned my shoulder against the wall. "What are you going to do?"

He glanced up at me. "What do you mean?"

"About Caleb."

He stood up as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and slammed his locker door. "Nothing." He started walking away.

I pushed off from the wall and rushed after him. "What do you mean nothing? You can't just ignore something like that."

"I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone. I can't break my word."

"As a student leader, isn't it kind of your responsibility to report the abuse? I mean, it's not like they can ignore that bruise on his face. Now there's proof that he's being abused."

"I don't know."

I could tell I was getting through to him. "I think Caleb's safety outweighs any promises you made to him. You'd be doing it for his own good."

He nodded slowly. "Maybe you're right."

I slipped an arm around his waist. "I am."

"I'll call Social Services when I get home."

Caleb wasn't at school for the next couple of days and Asher was frantic with worry. He tried calling Social Services, but they couldn't — or wouldn't — tell him anything. He even tried calling Caleb's house, but when he asked for Caleb, Caleb's father just cursed at him then hung up.

Finally, on Friday morning, Caleb was back. I was with Asher when he spotted Caleb in the hall ahead of us. Asher's relief was palpable.

"Hey, I'll see you later," he said to me, never taking his eyes off Caleb. "I'm going to go see what happened."

He ran off before I could respond.

It occurred to me that Asher had grown very fond of Caleb in a short amount of time. Once more, I felt jealousy well up inside me, but I tried to repress it. It was only natural for Asher to feel protective of Caleb, I told myself. After all, Caleb had been confiding in him.

Asher caught up to Caleb and grabbed his arm. Caleb jumped and jerked away. He didn't exactly look thrilled to see Asher, but I couldn't hang around to see what happened next. I had to get to class. Besides, watching them from a distance seemed voyeuristic and made me feel like some sort of stalker.

I looked for Asher after school but couldn't find him anywhere, so I called him the moment I walked in the house. He didn't answer his phone, so I sent him a text asking him to call me. When he still hadn't called by nine that night, I tried him again but it went directly to his voicemail. I decided to try one last time before I went to bed. That time, he answered the phone.

"Hey," I said.

"Oh, hey." He sounded disappointed.

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"No. I mean, I thought maybe it might be Caleb."

I fought back a sigh as I dropped into the desk chair. "So what happened with him? He looked a little pissed off this morning."

"No, he was a lot pissed off. He was furious with me for reporting the abuse."

"Did you tell him it was you?"

"No. He just knew."

"Why was he mad? What happened?"

As we talked, I absentmindedly began tidying up my desk, which had turned into a chaotic mess after weeks of nonstop studying.

"This time, Social Services took him out of the house. He's living in a group home right now, and he hates it."

"He'd rather be getting beat up by his father?" I dropped a couple of books into my backpack and started sorting through the small mountain of papers, throwing some into the trashcan and stacking the rest.

"Apparently he's getting beat up at the group home, too. He said at least with his dad he knew what to expect for the most part. He'd learned what signs to look out for, and he had places he could go to get away. I...I just made things worse for him." He sounded as if he might cry.

"You got him out of an abusive situation—"

"And into another one. How did that help him at all?"

"He won't stay in the group home, right? Won't he get placed in a foster home?"

"He said one of the other guys there told him boys his age are much harder to place. The guy said he'd been bounced around from home to home, and each one seemed worse than the last. I've totally screwed up Caleb's life."

"Ash, you did what you thought was best."

"And I was wrong. I never should have listened to you."

That stung. "I couldn't know—"

He sighed heavily. "I know. That's what I said to Caleb, too."

"Is he still mad at you?"

"A little, but he did calm down. He called me earlier tonight. He's allowed one phone call a night. We talked until they told him he had to get off the phone."

"At least he's speaking to you."

"True. I just can't help feeling like I betrayed him. I should have at least talked to him first."

"You didn't betray him."

"Then why does it feel like I did?"

The conversation was going nowhere fast. I decided to change the subject. "You need to get your mind off Caleb for a while."

Asher snorted. "Like that's going to happen."

"You know we graduate in a couple of weeks." A halfhearted grunt was his only response. I pressed on. "You're not excited?"

"I don't know. I guess."

"Come on! We'll never have to go to high school again. And we'll have all summer to hang out."

"I'll be working with my dad."

"Oh, yeah. Adam wants me to get a job, too. But we'll still have free time. We won't be working twenty-four hours a day."

"Where are you going to work?"

"I have no idea. I've never had a summer job before."

"There's always McDonald's."

"Ha ha. You're a comedian." I shifted the stack of papers and a business card caught my eye. I picked it up.

"You could maybe get a job at my dad's." Asher's father was a dentist. Asher worked part-time at the front desk every summer. "Or what about Steve's architecture firm? I'm sure they could use an office bitch for the summer."

I barely heard him. An idea was forming in my head, and my heart was beating faster.

"Killian?" Asher prompted when I didn't respond.

"I have an idea."

"What?"

"Remember when I had that accident?"

"Uh, yeah. I do seem to recall something about that. You still don't have your car back."

I nervously flipped the card over and over in my fingers. "Yeah, but remember the guy I hit?"

"Not really."

"His name is Shane Novak. He's a private investigator."

"So?"

"Maybe he'll hire me."

There was a long silence, then, "What?"

"Maybe I can get a job with him."

"Doing what?"

"I don't know. Anything."

"Why would you want to work for a private investigator?"

"I think it would be fun."

"Fun? Have you lost your mind?"

I frowned. "Huh?"

"Did you forget the last two times you tried to play detective?"

"Asher—"

"We almost died the first time, and your cousin was killed the second time."

"Yeah, it's not like I could forget that." My tone was sharper than I'd intended. I took a deep breath and tried again. "I still miss Aidan. But this would be different."

"How?" Asher scoffed.

"I'd be working with a professional."

"I don't think it's a good idea. I really don't want you to do it."

"Mr. Novak said it was nothing like you see on TV. It'll be perfectly safe."

His tone became a little resentful. "Have you already talked to him about this?"

"No. He told me that the day of the accident. Look, Ash, I'd really like to work for him. He seemed pretty cool, and I think I'd like the job."

"So what I want doesn't matter?"

"I didn't say that. It's just...I think what I want should matter, too."

"If you take this job, I'll..."

"You'll what?"

"Nothing."

"No, what? Did you almost threaten me?"

"I just really don't want you working for a private investigator."

"Yeah, I got that," I snapped.

"And I got that you don't give a shit what I think or feel."

"Ash, it's not like that." I took a deep breath. "Why are we fighting about this? I haven't even talked to Mr. Novak yet. It might not even be an option."

"But if it is?"

"Then we'll talk about it some more. It's something I'd really like to do. Just think about it. Okay?"

"Fine."

"Hey, even if I do end up working there, it'll only be for the summer. This fall, we'll be starting college together." A deafening silence answered me. "Hello? You there?"

"Yeah," he answered slowly. "There's, uh, something I need to tell you."

"That doesn't sound good."

"It's not a huge deal. I mean — it could be. But it doesn't have to be."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was accepted at George Mason University."

I didn't answer for a second. "I thought you only applied to Pemberton."

"That was my plan, but you know that George Mason is my dad's alma mater. He really wanted me to go there, so I applied. And I was accepted."

"That's nice, but you're still going to Pemberton, right?"

"I...I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? The only reason I even applied there was because you made such a big deal about the two of us going to college together."

"I know, but it would mean a lot to my dad if I went to George Mason."

"It would mean a lot to me if you went to Pemberton."

"I, uh...I already accepted at George Mason."

I leapt up out of the chair. "What?"

"I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple of weeks."

"Oh my God, I can't fucking believe this!" I was yelling now, but I didn't care.

"Kill, don't freak out."

"Don't freak out? I applied early decision to Pemberton just for you, then you applied somewhere else without even telling me." I raked my hand roughly through my hair. "Then, when you're accepted there, you make a decision without even discussing it with me. And you have the nerve to get mad at me for telling you I want to work for a private investigator? I don't consider your feelings?"

"It's not that big a deal!"

"Like hell it's not!" I started pacing. "The only reason I applied to Pemberton was for you. I didn't even want to go there! I wanted to go to the University of Maryland. Now you're going to be at a school that's three hours away, and the ironic part is we'd have been closer if I had gone to Maryland."

"Maybe we should talk about this later. You're upset."

"You're damn right I'm upset. We should have talked about this weeks ago."

"You're right. I should have talked to you. I'm sorry. I knew you'd freak out—"

"No, you knew you were wrong and didn't want to deal with the consequences. You know what? Maybe we should talk about this later. I'm so mad right now I might say something I'd regret."

"Killian—"

"Good night, Asher."

"I love you."

I hung up without responding and threw myself across my bed.

A knock sounded at my door a few minutes later. "What?" I didn't bother getting up.

The door opened and Adam stuck his head in. "Everything okay?"

"Not really."

He walked over and sat down next to me on the bed. "What's wrong?"

I sat up. "Asher and I had a fight."

Adam gave me a sarcastic smile. "What else is new?" When I didn't offer a smile in return, his quickly faded.

"This is different. He was accepted at George Mason University. He's decided to go there."

Adam's eyes widened in surprise. "I thought you guys were going to Pemberton together."

"So did I."

"Wow. What are you guys going to do?"

I shrugged. "We didn't get that far in the conversation. I was so mad he didn't talk to me first that I couldn't think about anything else."

He rubbed my back comfortingly. "That's understandable."

Suddenly I was fighting back tears. "I feel like everything's over."

"What do you mean?"

"We're graduating, getting jobs, and now we're going to different colleges hours away from each other. I feel like Asher and I are growing apart. It's like everything is ending all at once."

"Life is all about changes, kiddo. You either roll with the punches or you get beat up. Sure, you guys will be going to different schools, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything is ending. You're just entering a new phase of your relationship."

"So you think we should try a long distance relationship?"

"It's not like he's moving to the other side of the world. He'll still be home for holidays and breaks."

"You said it was hard when Steve lived just an hour away, and you guys saw each other all the time. We'll go weeks, or even months without seeing each other."

"So what are you saying? You think you should break up?"

"I...I don't know. Maybe. We've been fighting a lot. We even fought earlier tonight before he told me about his decision."

"What were you fighting about then?"

"I told him my idea for a summer job."

"Which was?"

"I thought maybe Mr. Novak would hire me."

"Who?"

"The guy I rear ended, the private investigator."

Adam frowned. "I don't know if I like the sound of that."

I sighed. I didn't need another naysayer. "Why not?"

"Would it be safe?"

"Mr. Novak said it's nothing like what you see on television."

"I know that. I'm still not sure it's an appropriate job for a seventeen-year-old."

"I'll be eighteen soon. Besides, I think it sounds really interesting."

Adam shook his head. "I doubt he'll even have anything for you. From what little I know, I've always thought private eyes tend to be pretty solitary types."

I shrugged. "I guess I'll find out when I call him."

"I guess so." He sounded distinctly unenthusiastic.

I stood in the doorway staring at the man in the recliner. The man was snoring loudly, likely passed out in a drunken stupor. I hefted the ax in my hands. The weight was comforting somehow. It calmed my pounding heart.

I walked slowly across the room and stopped next to the chair. Looking down at the man, I felt an overwhelming wave of hatred wash over me, reminding me of why I was there. I raised the ax over my head and took a deep breath.

The man in the chair stirred, coughed, and blearily blinked awake. It took him a moment to focus on me standing over him, but as he did, his eyes widened in horror. Before he could make a sound, I swung the ax.

I jolted awake, heart racing, and stared up at the ceiling, disoriented and uneasy. What the hell was going on? Why did these dreams keep happening...and what did they mean, if anything? They felt disturbingly real, almost like I was the one holding the ax. The hatred I felt for the man in the chair had been overwhelming.

And familiar.

I hated my father with that same intensity. And Todd, the serial killer I'd shot to save my friend Jake. He'd deserved it. They'd both done enough to earn my hatred. But the man in my dream? I didn't even recognize him.

Maybe it was just my subconscious working through my past. I certainly had plenty of stress in my life at the moment. I decided that's all it was and tried to fall back asleep, but I lay awake for a long time in the darkness, half afraid the nightmare would return. It didn't, but I felt far from rested the next morning.

I avoided Asher all weekend, which wasn't really that hard considering he didn't call me, either. I hung out with Kane for a while on Saturday, much to his delight, and the rest of the time, I watched TV or YouTube. I even resorted to video games, I was so bored. I really needed more friends. I'd spent so much of my time with Asher the last few years, that I hadn't made time for anyone else.

I forced myself to wait until Monday to contact Mr. Novak, since I figured he wouldn't be in his office on the weekend. I made it until my lunch break on Monday before I couldn't take it any longer. I walked outside and dialed the number on his card. After several rings, his voicemail picked up. I left a brief message asking him to call me back when he got the chance, and hung up, disappointed.

The rest of the day dragged by.

I didn't see Asher until after the final bell rang. I was on my way to my locker when I found him talking to Caleb. I slipped away before either of them could notice me — or so I thought. I still wasn't ready to talk to my boyfriend. Unfortunately, Asher had other ideas.

"Killian, wait up," he shouted as I was leaving the building. I cringed inside, but tried to keep my face expressionless as he caught up to me. "We need to talk," he said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Now you want to talk?"

"I'm sorry. I really am." He did look truly remorseful. "I should have come to you right away. I just didn't know what to do. I knew you'd be disappointed. I felt terrible."

"But not terrible enough to tell me for weeks."

"How many more times can I say I'm sorry?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Asher looked as if I'd slapped him. "Adam's waiting for me. We'll talk later."

"When?"

"Call me." I walked away without looking back. I hadn't realized how angry I still was until I'd seen Asher standing in front of me.

Adam could tell I was upset as soon as I got in the car. "What's wrong?"

"Asher."

"Have you guys talked yet?"

"Not exactly."

"You shouldn't put it off."

"He's calling later."

I was extremely grateful when he simply nodded and dropped the subject.

"You know there are rumors that you and Asher are breaking up," Kane announced as he jumped into the back seat.

"What?"

"People keep asking me about it. I've been telling them that as far as I know, you're still dating."

"Who's asking? And why do they think we're breaking up?"

"Everybody. And maybe you guys shouldn't be so obvious when you're avoiding each other. And don't have those loud fights in the hall."

I slumped down in my seat. "Why can't people just mind their own business?"

"Because other people's business is so much more interesting."

"Is that all they're saying?"

"Well...not exactly."

I sat up and twisted around in my seat. "What else?"

He looked away. "Some people think you're breaking up because Asher is cheating on you."

My mouth fell open. "With who?" Before the question had left my mouth, I knew the answer. "Caleb, right?"

Kane's eyes met mine and he nodded sympathetically. "For the record, I don't believe it."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks. At least not everyone thinks I'm a loser."

Adam cleared his throat. "Why would that make you a loser?"

"Everyone thinks my boyfriend is cheating on me."

"Not everyone," Kane hastily objected.

"Almost everyone," I amended with a sneer.

"Wouldn't that make Asher the loser?" Adam asked. "If he were cheating, I mean. Which he isn't, I'm sure."

"Why do people even care if we were breaking up?"

"Duh," Kane said. "You guys are like a celebrity couple. You're both popular and you're the most visible gay couple on campus. If our school paper was a tabloid, there would be some sordid rumor about you on the front page every week."

Adam chuckled, and I threw him a dirty look. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Well, I don't like it."

Kane shrugged. "I'm not saying you have to like it; I'm just telling you how it is. Oh, and if you do break up, I want to be the first to know so I can sell the story."

"Kane!" Adam and I yelled together.

Later that evening, I was playing video games with Kane in the den when my phone rang. I was losing badly — partly because I rarely played, and partly because I wasn't paying attention. My mind was on other things. When I heard my phone, my first thought was that it was Asher, and I almost ignored it. Then I remembered my call to Mr. Novak. I didn't recognize the number when I checked, so I answered.

"Is this Killian Kendall?" It was a man's voice.

"Yes."

"This is Shane Novak. You left a message earlier today asking me to return your call. Is there a problem with the insurance?"

"No, no. I mean, maybe. They're taking forever, but that's not why I called. Thanks for calling me back, by the way. I, uh, had a question."

"Okay. Shoot."

"You wouldn't happen to be hiring, would you?"

"Pardon?"

"I'm looking for a summer job and I found your card and thought I'd like to work for you."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you want to work for me?"

I hadn't been expecting that question and I struggled for a few seconds to come up with a suitable response. "I like solving mysteries. I like searching for the truth, figuring out why something happened. I think I'd like working for a private investigator."

"You do know it's nothing like what you see on TV or in the movies, right?"

"You said that before, when we were exchanging insurance information."

"And I meant it. The majority of my work is very boring — insurance fraud cases, mostly. It involves long tedious hours and lots of paperwork."

I was slightly less enthusiastic after that description, but determined not to back down. "I could do that."

Mr. Novak chuckled. "I'll tell you what, kid, you've got tenacity. It just so happens that my last assistant quit on me a few weeks ago. I haven't had time to advertise the vacant position since my caseload is pretty heavy at the moment. Why don't you come in for an interview?" I heard some papers rustling. "Where's my calendar?" he muttered under his breath. "Oh hell. I'm busy the next few days but why don't you come in next week some time? Does Monday work?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. What time?"

"How about 3:30?"

"That works."

"Sounds good. I'll make myself a note."

"Thank you, Mr. Novak."

"Don't thank me yet. This is just an interview. No promises. See you next week."

I said goodbye and ended the call, my heart hammering in my chest.

Kane had restarted the game and was playing by himself, but he paused the action and turned to me when I hung up. "You got the job?"

"No, but I got an interview."

"Cool." He went back to his game. "Are you done playing?"

Was it my imagination or did he sound hopeful? I couldn't really blame him. It wasn't as if I'd been providing him much of a challenge.

"Yeah, I'm done. I'm gonna go hang out in our room."

Before I could reach the stairs, someone knocked on the front door. Since I was only a few feet away, I answered it. Asher was standing on the porch.

"I thought you were going to call," I said flatly.

"I was afraid you wouldn't answer."

I couldn't exactly argue. I probably wouldn't have.

"Can we talk now?"

I shrugged. "Why not?" I turned and started up the stairs, leaving Asher to close the door and follow me. Once in the bedroom, I sat on the bed.

Asher chose my desk chair. "Okay. I was wrong to make such an important decision without talking to you first. It was selfish and inconsiderate. Everything you said was right. I'm a jerk and I'm sorry."

"Do you know there's a rumor going around school that we're breaking up because you cheated on me with Caleb?"

Asher blinked at me in surprise. "What?"

"There's a rumor—"

He leapt off the bed. "I've never cheated on you! I swear!"

"I didn't say I believed it." Though there was a part of me that wondered. "So what do we do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to George Mason. I'm going to Pemberton. What do we do now?"

Asher shook his head in confusion and sat back down. "This isn't going the way I thought it would."

"What did you expect? That I'd simply accept your apology and everything would be fine?"

"No," he said slowly.

I could tell that was exactly what he'd thought.

"Asher, we have bigger issues than you going to a different college."

He frowned. "Like what?"

"It seems like all we do anymore is fight. You're keeping things from me. You spend more time with Caleb than you do with me."

"I told you, I didn't cheat with Caleb!"

"I'm not saying you did, but if other people are noticing that you spend enough time with him to the point where they think you might be cheating, then obviously it's a problem."

He looked ashamed. "So...what are you saying?"

"I'm not saying anything. I'm just pointing out what we're dealing with."

"You think we should break up."

"Maybe."

Asher's jaw dropped. "I...I can't believe you said that."

I stood and walked to the window. "Why not? We can't even make this work when we live in the same town. How are we going to make it work when you're three hours away? I don't want a long distance relationship."

Asher stood as well. I could see his reflection in the window as he stared at my back, a tortured look on his face. "But...I love you."

I turned to face him. "Do you? What do we really know about love? If you really loved me you wouldn't be lying to me."

"What kind of stupid shit is that? You know damn well I love you, and you love me, too. Or you used to."

I sighed and rubbed my face wearily. "I still do," I said softly. "I just...maybe that's not enough anymore."

He stared at me in disbelief. "So that's it? We're over? You're breaking up with me?"

When I nodded, Asher shook his head and started backing away as tears spilled down his cheeks. "You know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe this is for the best. Why would I want to date an asshole anyway?"

I closed my eyes in an effort to hold back my own tears. When I opened them again, he was gone.

What had I done? I hadn't planned on breaking up with him. Where did those words come from? I didn't feel any relief or closure, just turmoil and confusion. An unaccustomed numbness seemed to have taken over my emotions.

I walked downstairs and into the den where Kane was still playing video games.

"You can alert the press," I said woodenly. "We broke up."

Next Chapter Previous Chapter