The Truth of Yesterday
Book 4 of the Killian Kendall Mysteries
By Josh Aterovis
Copyright 2026
Chapter 22
Noah stumbled back, tripped, and sprawled on his ass. He stared up at me with an expression of disbelief.
"Noah, I have a boyfriend," I said softly.
I reached out a hand to help him up.
He stared at my hand for a few seconds before purposefully ignoring it and standing without my assistance.
"You know," he said in a low, tense voice as he brushed off his bottom, "I'll admit I'm not blameless here, but let's get one thing very clear: neither are you. You've been sending out mixed signals to me since the day we met. You were staring at me that day in the bookstore, you flirt with me, you've been dancing with me all night, and you came out here alone with me."
"You're right, and I'm sorry. I have been sending out mixed signals. The truth is I am attracted to you. I can't deny that. I like you. If I wasn't already dating someone, I'd probably want to go out with you. But I am dating someone, and I care about him very much. I'm sorry if I confused you or hurt you, but I can't do anything to risk losing Micah. He means too much to me."
Noah slumped against the wall and slowly slid down to a crouching position on the ground. I winced as I thought about his bare back against the rough brick, but he didn't even seem to notice.
Without looking up, he asked, "How much does he mean to you?"
"Everything."
"What does that mean?"
"It means...I want to be with him. I can't stand the thought of losing him, and I really want to try and make our relationship work. It means...I love him."
I squatted a few feet away facing him, carefully tucking the skirt of my tunic between my legs as I did.
"And I guess it's too much to hope that you guys are open," he said, sounding defeated.
"Open?"
"You know, like an open relationship, meaning you screw around with other guys."
"Oh. No. Is that a thing?"
He laughed. "It is for some couples. Sounds like you guys are pretty serious."
"It's taken a lot to get us to the point we're at now. I don't know if it's a forever thing, but it feels like it could be. You know?"
"Not really. The longest relationship I've ever had lasted like one month. Most guys don't seem to be looking for a relationship. All they want is a hookup or maybe a fuck buddy."
"I guess I've been pretty lucky. I've only had two boyfriends so I've never really done the whole dating thing."
"It sucks. It's so hard to meet guys."
"What about the apps?"
Noah snorted. "Have you used them?"
I shook my head no.
"They're the worst," he said. "Great if I'm horny and just need a quick fuck, terrible for finding a boyfriend."
"What about Haven?"
"Almost every guy in Haven is single, and we've all hooked up with each other at least once. I think you're the only person I know with a serious boyfriend. I think the Haven record for the longest relationship is like three months."
"You're in college. How many straight couples do you know who've been together longer than that? And they have more of a selection to choose from. We're what? Ten percent, at best? How many of those are even out of the closet?"
He shrugged. "I guess you're right. Intellectually, I know you are. Emotionally, I'm just tired of being alone."
"Well, I can't be your boyfriend, but I'd like us to be friends, if we can."
He smiled a sad smile. "If I can keep from jumping you, you mean?"
"No. That's not—"
"I was trying to make a joke, Killian. I'd like us to be friends too. I realize I've said that before, but I mean it. Now I know where the boundaries are. I accept that I don't have a chance with you as anything more than friends — at least, as long as Micah is in the picture. Not that I'm wishing you'd break up or anything."
I laughed. "At least not too much?"
He smiled, a real smile this time. "I really have to meet this guy. I just hope I can keep from being too jealous."
At that moment the door opened and Kane came out, obviously looking for me or, perhaps I should say, checking up on me.
"Over here, Kane," I called softly so as not to disturb the amorous couples.
He turned in our direction, eying the distance between us with undisguised approval. "I hadn't seen you in a while, so I thought I'd look for you, make sure you were staying out of trouble."
I laughed at his bluntness. "You know, I was supposed to be the one keeping an eye on you."
"Just goes to show that father doesn't always know best," Kane said dryly.
I grinned up at him, then turned my attention back to Noah. "You ready to go back in?"
"Might as well, I'm pretty chilly."
"Maybe if you weren't naked..." Kane said under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear.
I snorted, but turned it into a cough. "You'll warm up quickly enough once you start dancing again."
The three of us walked back into the building, where it seemed even more people had arrived while we were outside.
"It's a really good turnout," I said. "I have to admit I'm a little surprised that so many people would come out for a dance put on by a queer club."
"It's not just our school," Noah said while Kane scanned the crowd — for Lila, I assumed. "We went in with the other two colleges in this area and invited all the other LGBTQ groups at the other schools on the Shore. Even a few high school groups showed up. Plus, everyone knows that gays throw the best parties, so people come to these things."
I noticed several guys eying Noah hungrily. "Well, with this many people here, you shouldn't stay with me the whole night. Mr. Right might be out there while we speak."
"And if not Mr. Right, then at least maybe Mr. Right Now," he said and waggled his eyebrows.
"Go have fun." I gave him a little push, and he flashed me a crooked smile in return.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Don't apologize. It's over, forgotten."
"I hope it's not forgotten. I'd like to think I'm not that forgettable."
I winked and shooed him away, then moved off to one side and sat on the edge of a bench. Several guys and a couple of girls approached to ask me to dance, but I wasn't in the mood anymore. What I really wanted to do was find Micah. Kane was still dancing with Lila, though, so it was obvious he wasn't ready to go.
"Why the long face?" Val said, appearing beside me.
"Just missing my man." I shifted over to let her sit down.
"Where is he?"
"He had to work. He's a reporter, and he's working on a big story."
"Oh, you got yourself a grown ass working man, huh? What's his name?"
"Micah."
"Micah. That sounds familiar. Oh wait! Is he the one who broke that big scandal?" I nodded. "I saw him on TV. He's pretty hunky."
I grinned proudly. "I agree."
We sat in silence for a minute, then she cleared her throat. "I know this is probably none of my business," she said, "but I couldn't help noticing you seemed pretty, um, close to Noah tonight."
"It's not—"
"Hey, like I said, it's none of my business. It's just that Noah's a good friend, and I'd hate to see him get hurt, so if you're just playing around..."
"Val, really, it's not like that. We talked earlier tonight, and we're fine now. We're just friends. Things got a little confusing for a minute there, but we got it all worked out."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Good. I'm glad to hear that. So, you want to go see your boyfriend?"
"Yeah, but Kane's having such a good time with your cousin I don't want to ask him to leave."
"They do seem to be hitting it off, don't they? Your brother seems like a nice kid."
"He is. He's a great kid." I paused then added to be polite, "I only met her for a second, but Lila seems nice too."
"Lila...well, Lila's been through a lot," Val said slowly.
When she didn't elaborate, I asked, "Like what?"
"Oh, I'd rather not go into it right now. Family stuff, you know? It's just not been easy for her. She came to live with us this summer. She doesn't really know many people yet, and she's bi, so I invited her to the dance. I'm glad she met Kane. Look, if you want to leave, why don't you go ahead? I'll keep an eye on the kids, and I can even drive Kane home after things wind down."
"I don't want you to go to all that trouble," I said. "You don't even know where we live."
"It's not really all that much trouble. I'm going to be here anyway. I have to keep an eye on Lila, and it's not like they've been more than a few feet apart all evening. It's no extra work. Where do you live?"
"Well, we live all the way in Ocean City, but I guess you could take Kane to the B&B. That's a lot closer."
"What B&B?"
"It's in Chicone."
"Oh yeah, that's no big deal at all."
"Are you sure you don't mind?"
"I really don't mind. Go. See your boyfriend." She smiled and gave me a little push. "Somebody should get laid tonight."
I laughed "As long as it's not Kane!"
"Killian! ¡Vete a la mierda!" She gave me a playful swat.
"Thanks, Val. I really appreciate it."
She shrugged. "De nada."
I interrupted Kane and Lila's slow dance long enough to let him know what the new arrangements were. Predictably, Kane was quite agreeable to the change.
I started to say goodnight to Noah, but he seemed pretty busy with a tall redhead who was dressed as what I could only guess was a slutty Woody from Toy Story — denim booty shorts, red scarf around his neck, a cowboy hat, and boots — so I left him alone and slipped out of the party.
A short time later, I pulled into the parking lot of the Times. Micah's car was still there, along with several others. Since I'd never been to the offices at night before, I had no idea how to get in. I was pretty sure the doors would be locked, and I doubted there was a receptionist at the desk at that hour. I could have just called Micah on my cell, but that would ruin the surprise.
I was standing next to my car trying to decide what to do when a side door opened and a black woman in her late thirties stepped out to light up a cigarette. She didn't notice me, and jumped as I approached. Her eyes grew wide as she took in my costume.
"Hi, is Micah working?" I asked in as normal a voice as I could manage, as if I always walked around in a winged helmet and a mini skirt.
"Uh, yeah," she said without taking her eyes off of me. I was beginning to feel like a piece of meat the way she was blatantly ogling my body.
"Could you please tell him Killian is here to see him?"
She blinked and looked at my face for the first time, her eyes widening even more, if that was possible. "You're Killian? As in Micah's boyfriend?"
It was my turn to be surprised. "He talks about me?"
I hadn't even known Micah was out at work.
"He never shuts up about you," she said, taking me in again from head to toe as she sucked on the cigarette and slowly blew out a stream of smoke. "Damn. Micah said you were cute, but he never mentioned you were a god."
"Hermes, actually." I fought a blush and lost, suddenly glad for the dim lighting. She stared at me blankly. "The costume. I'm supposed to be Hermes, the messenger of the gods. I, uh, just came from a costume party."
I have a bad tendency to ramble when I'm nervous.
"You mean you don't dress like this all the time?" She smirked. "Too bad." She took a final drag from her cigarette and flicked it away with a practiced gesture. "Come on in. I'll show you to his desk."
"Sorry for interrupting your smoke break," I said, following her inside and down a hallway.
She stopped and turned back, hand on her hip, to give me one more lascivious inspection. "Honey, looking like that, you can interrupt me any day."
She winked and started walking once more.
We came into a large, open office space divided into cubicles. I spotted Micah right away at his desk on the far side of the room. He was bent intently over his laptop, his fingers flying over the keys.
"Micah, there's a messenger here to see you," my guide announced.
Micah's head popped up as he glanced absently in our direction, his mind clearly still on his project. When he saw me, however, his eyes grew wide, and a delighted grin spread across his face. He jumped up and quickly crossed the room.
For a moment, I thought he was going to sweep me off my feet and kiss me right there, but at the last second he seemed to remember we weren't alone and stopped just inches from me.
"Mmm. Don't let me stop you," the woman said.
Micah laughed. "You'd like that too much, Tina."
Tina grinned. "Didn't say I wouldn't. I'll give you two some privacy. I need to go check in with pagination."
She winked at me as she left us alone in the office.
Micah quickly swooped in for the delayed kiss.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as he pulled away.
"Just thought I'd say hi and show you my costume."
"Hold still, I've got to take this in." He walked around me in a slow circle, looking at me from every angle. "Wow! You look... Wow!"
I laughed. "Micah Gerber at a loss for words? You do know Hermes was the patron god of orators and writers, don't you?"
"Wasn't he also the protector of thieves? I think you're stealing all my rational thoughts." He grabbed me and pulled me against him for a tight hug, knocking off my helmut. "Do you have any idea how hot you look?"
"Um, no, but if you keep telling me, maybe I'll buy it."
"I'm serious," he said, pushing me away and holding me at arms' length. "I really wish I could have been there tonight."
"Me too."
He glanced down at his watch and frowned. "It can't be over already."
"No, things were really just getting going when I left. I just wasn't having fun alone."
"Didn't Kane go with you?"
"Yeah, but he met a girl, and I hated to drag him away. A friend is going to drive him home when the dance is over. I'm sorry about interrupting your work. I just wanted to see you."
He pulled me against him again for another, much gentler hug. "Oh please. I welcome any break, especially if it involves you. So, how about if you tell me why you're really here?"
I pulled back, surprised. "What do you mean?" I sounded defensive, even to myself.
"Easy. I'm not accusing you of anything. It's just that I know you. I can tell there's more to the story. If you don't want to talk about it, that's cool."
"It's not that I don't... It's just..." I sighed and nervously ran my hand through my hair. "You know that guy Noah from Haven?"
"Yeah, the one who invited you to go?"
"Yeah, him." I took a deep breath. "He, um...he kissed me tonight."
Micah's expression didn't change. "Did you kiss him back?" He sounded completely calm, as if he were asking about the weather.
"I don't know," I said miserably. "Maybe for a second. But then I realized what was happening and told him to stop and that I was dating you. Well, actually, I pushed him so hard he fell on his ass."
"And then what happened?"
"We talked about it for a while. I told him you meant too much to me to risk losing you, and he apologized."
"And that's it?"
"Yeah."
He shrugged and smiled. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah. Okay. Thanks for telling me."
"You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad? It's inevitable that we're going to be attracted to other people. What's important is how you react to that attraction. You decided we were more important than your interest in Noah. How could I be upset about that? I'm just really glad you trusted our relationship enough to tell me."
I rushed into his arms again. "Damn it! You just keep getting more and more amazing. I don't know how much of that I can take. How did I get so lucky?"
"Hey, I'm the one holding a hot Greek god. Speaking of which, now that we've got your little confession out of the way, how about if you put the hat back on? Just for me?"
I rolled my eyes but obliged.
He let out a wolf-whistle that I was sure they could hear all over the building.
"Why do I have to go back to work?" he lamented.
I frowned. "How late do you have to stay?"
"I don't know. I guess I could leave it for the night. Why?" A little smile played around his lips as if he already knew the answer. "Do you have something else in mind?"
I struck a pose — fists on hips, feet splayed — and gave him my most suggestive smile. "How about you and I slip back to Mount Olympus for a little frolicking of mythical proportions?"
He broke into a grin as he adjusted himself. "I, uh, think I'll just run and let them know I'm leaving for the night. My place or yours?"
"Yours."
"Great. I'll be right back."
While I waited, I thought about how lucky I was to have a guy like Micah.
I got lucky several more times that night.
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