All Lost Things

Book 3 of the Killian Kendall Mysteries

By Josh Aterovis
Copyright 2026

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Chapter 2

The next week passed quickly. The repair estimates for my car were quite high, and the insurance company hadn't made a decision yet about whether they would cover the cost of repairs or just total it. In the meantime, Adam was driving Kane and me to school in the morning, and either Adam or Marcus would pick us up after. Things with Asher remained tense, but I didn't have much time to focus on our problems as the opening night of the play loomed ever closer. I was pacing in my bedroom, rehearsing my lines over and over to myself, when a knock came at the door.

"Come in," I called, expecting Adam or Steve.

The door cracked open and a familiar blonde head popped in, eyes squeezed tightly closed. "Are you decent?"

"Mom!"

She grinned and stepped inside, arms already open for a hug. I practically launched myself at her.

"You didn't think I was going to miss the opening night of your senior play, did you?" she asked.

"But it's such a long drive..."

After she left Dad, Mom had moved to Pennsylvania to help Aunt Kathy with her five wildly energetic kids. Between that and full-time nursing school, her visits were rare.

"Psh. It's nothing. I could drive here with my eyes closed...and I usually do."

I laughed and hugged her again, then stepped back to get a better look at her. "You're letting your hair grow out?"

"Or I'm just overdue for a haircut." She laughed self-consciously and tucked a loose strand of blond hair behind her ear.

I definitely got my looks from her — same blue eyes, same wavy dark blond hair, same pocket-sized build. For as long as I could remember, she'd kept her hair in a blunt pageboy cut. Now, it brushed past her shoulders.

"I like it. You should keep growing it."

She gave me a sarcastic salute. "Yes, sir!" But her eyes were sparkling. After what Dad put her through, compliments still caught her off guard.

"So, what brought this on? Are you seeing someone?"

She snorted. "Absolutely not. I have zero interest in dating."

"You're still young and hot. I think you need to get back out there."

Her eyes widened as she struggled to hide a smile. "I'm not sure this is an appropriate conversation to be having with your mother, but thank you...I think."

"Oh come on. I know a retired baddie when I see one."

"Retired? Excuse you. I'm not ready for the early-bird specials and bingo nights."

"Well, you are still in college," I teased. "How's school going?"

She groaned dramatically. "Ugh. I forgot how brutal studying is."

"Are you getting good grades?"

She gave me the classic mom eye-roll. "Yes, Father. Speaking of college, have you heard back from any of the schools you applied to?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"We're gonna be in college at the same time. I was accepted to Pemberton University!"

She grew serious. "That's where your cousin Aidan went."

"I know."

"You probably did. My brain's a bit scrambled lately with all my classes. What made you pick it?"

"It's a solid school, they offered me a scholarship, and it's close to home."

"Can't argue with any of that. But you don't exactly sound thrilled."

I shrugged. "I kinda had my heart set on the University of Maryland. But Asher didn't apply there. He wanted us both to go to Pemberton."

She nodded slowly. "I see. And how is Asher?" I shrugged. "What does that mean? Are you two having problems?"

"I wouldn't say problems..."

"Well, what would you say?"

I dropped down on the bed with a thump. "We're arguing a lot. Asher seems to be unhappy with a lot of my decisions. Sometimes I feel as if he's just looking for something to fight about."

Mom sat down next to me. "Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"Not really."

"Look, sweetheart, I don't want to butt in, but if you two are having problems — er, make that 'issues' — are you sure it's the best idea to base your college decision on Asher's?"

"It's a little late to worry about that now."

"True." She sighed. "Well, maybe you should try to talk to him. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship."

"You sound like Adam."

She grinned. "It's nice to know he's giving you good advice."

"You know he does. Adam's great."

She gave me a one-armed hug. "He is." Her smile slowly faded away as her gaze became distant.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She blinked and forced her lips back into a smile. "Nothing's wrong."

"What were you just thinking?"

She sighed. "Sometimes I wish things had worked out differently."

"Differently how?"

"I guess I sort of...envy Adam."

"What do you mean?"

"I've just missed so much of your senior year. Soon you'll be graduating and heading off to college. Things are going on with you and Asher. I'm so far away...and Adam's right here, a part of it all, giving you advice. He's more your parent than I am these days."

"You'll always be my mom."

"I know, I know." She wiped at her eyes. "I'm just being silly. You're lucky to have Adam. We're lucky to have Adam."

I twisted around to give her a tight hug. "I love you, Mom."

She gave me a quick squeeze, then grinned wickedly and tickled my sides. "Hey, I didn't drive all this way to bring you down—I'm here to hype you up for your big debut! What time do you need to be at school?"

I glanced at the clock. "Actually...like, five minutes ago."

"Perfect. I'll drive you." She jumped to her feet and tugged me up by the hand. "Come on, let's go break some legs!"

"Uh, pretty sure it's just one leg. We're not mobsters."

She gave me a playful shove toward the door, both of us laughing as we headed out.

Opening night went great. I can't say the show went off without a hitch, but considering how bad it had seemed during rehearsals, our first real performance was a huge success. Judging by the audience's response, no one noticed the few flubbed lines, or, if so, didn't hold them against us.

The cast was taking its curtain call to thunderous applause when I noticed Asher coming up on stage with a bouquet of roses in his arms. He walked across the stage and handed it to me. I felt my face heat up until I must have matched the deep red of the roses exactly. If anything, the clapping and cheering grew even louder. Asher slipped his hand into mine as the cast filed off the stage.

The minute we were out of sight, he leaned in for a quick kiss. "You were amazing."

"Thanks," I mumbled, blushing more deeply. "I can't believe you gave me flowers in front of the whole school."

"You deserve them. You were the best actor in the play. I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time about it."

I shrugged. "It's okay. It all worked out in the end, right?"

His smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Right."

A strong negative feeling filled me. Although I couldn't quite figure out what it meant, I knew something was wrong. "What?"

"What do you mean, 'what'?"

"Something's wrong."

Asher frowned. "Nothing is wrong."

I opened my mouth to argue, but my family chose that moment to rush backstage.

"Killian, you were phenomenal," Steve crowed. "You deserve an Oscar."

"Tony," Adam corrected.

Steve grinned and rolled his eyes. "Whatever. The point is his performance was award-worthy."

"I agree," Mom said as she pulled me in for a hug. "I don't care if it's an Oscar, Tony, Grammy, or Heisman Trophy, just give my boy an award."

"Okay guys, jeez!" I interjected. "It was a high school play. Give it a rest."

Everyone laughed.

"How about we go celebrate a successful opening night?" Adam suggested.

"Where?" Mom asked.

"There's a great little all-night diner not far from here," Steve said.

Adam nodded in agreement. "Sounds good. Come on. Asher, you're coming, too, right? My treat."

Asher grinned. "I never turn down free food."

We rounded up Kane, who was busy flirting with a group of girls, and headed for the diner. I drove with Asher. Kane went with us, so I didn't have a chance to pursue my sense that something was wrong.

While the general mood at the diner was celebratory, I couldn't stop thinking about the bad feeling I'd had earlier. Something was wrong, but I had no idea what it could be. Asher acted as if everything was normal. He seemed oblivious to my fretting.

I was lost in thought when the table suddenly grew quiet. I looked up to see five pairs of eyes watching me expectantly. Obviously, I'd missed something. "Huh?"

Everyone laughed.

"I asked you if you'd chosen a major to study at Pemberton," Mom said.

"Oh." I glanced over at Asher who was suddenly fascinated by his sundae. "Uh, not really."

"What do you want to do?" Steve asked around a mouthful of ice cream and hot fudge.

I shrugged. "Beats me."

"You don't have any ideas?" Mom pressed.

"Nope."

Kane flicked a walnut in my direction. "How about acting? You were pretty good tonight." High praise coming from him.

I smiled in his direction. "Thanks, but I like it here. I'd have to move to New York or LA to become a working actor."

"You could always be an architect," Steve said. "You could work with me."

I wrinkled up my nose. "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't think that's for me."

"I don't suppose you're interested in graphic design or advertising?" Adam asked with a grin. I just laughed.

Mom reached over and patted my hand. "That's okay. You have time to figure it all out. You don't have to declare a major right away; you can just take general study courses for now."

I nodded. "That's what I'd planned to do."

"Oh, so now you have a plan?" Adam teased.

I noticed Asher had remained silent throughout the entire conversation. I turned my attention to him. "So, what about you? Do you know what you plan to major in at Pemberton?"

His eyes flicked to mine for a second before sliding away. A sardonic smile turned up one corner of his lips. "It took me fifteen minutes to decide what sundae to get. What makes you think I know what I want to study in college?"

Everyone laughed, and the conversation moved on. Although I kept a smile on my face and participated in the light patter, inside I was still troubled.

As the days slipped by, I never seemed to find the opportunity to bring up my feeling of foreboding with Asher. Eventually, it just seemed pointless to even mention anything.

Graduation was just a few weeks away, but the closer it crept, the slower time seemed to move. I was cramming the books I didn't need for homework into my locker when I suddenly remembered Asher saying something about the Rainbow Alliance officer elections happening that afternoon.

Since the play was over, I figured why not drop in? It might be a nice surprise. Maybe even a peace offering. I wasn't sure what I was hoping for exactly, but I thought it might mean something to him if I showed up, even just for the last couple of meetings.

It had been months since I'd made it to a meeting. The first thing I noticed as I walked into the room was several new people — like the pretty red-haired girl Kane was busy chatting up, or the guy with whom Asher was deep in conversation by the window. In fact, he was so engrossed he didn't notice me until I tapped him on the shoulder.

Asher's eyes grew huge when he saw me. For a second, I thought I saw a slight look of annoyance, but when a broad smile spread across his face, I decided I must have been mistaken. He grabbed me in a huge hug.

"I didn't know you were coming," he exclaimed as he released me.

I glanced at the boy Asher had been talking to and couldn't miss the look in his big brown eyes — blatant jealousy, clear as day.

"I decided to surprise you," I said, slipping my arm possessively through Asher's while maintaining eye contact.

Asher followed my gaze to the boy, and for a split second, something flickered in his eyes, something I couldn't quite name, but definitely felt.

"Ah, right. Killian, this is Caleb. He's new to the group. Caleb, this is my boyfriend Killian."

Caleb nodded grudgingly in my direction, and I gave him a wide, toothy grin in return. "Nice to meet you, Caleb."

He barely looked old enough to be in high school. Even standing next to me, he was short—maybe five foot three on a good day—and probably didn't weigh much more than a hundred pounds. A mop of unruly brown hair fell across his forehead, and I couldn't help but imagine it was soft and silky, the kind you instinctively want to ruffle. His eyes were big and dark, sharp with intelligence, like a clever little deer sizing up a situation. His naturally olive skin had that pale, indoors-all-the-time look.

He was a cute kid, but something about him rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it was the way he was blatantly ogling my boyfriend.

Asher quickly pulled me away in the direction of some of the other new members, but a peek over my shoulder told me Caleb was still glaring at our backs.

After introductions had been made, Asher started the meeting. The first order of business was the elections.

"As you all know, we've had a hard time coming up with candidates for next year's officers. I'll be graduating, and Brandy has declined to run again." A tall, heavy-set black girl shrugged apologetically. "So we're open to suggestions from the floor."

The kids in the room looked around at each other, but no one made any move to volunteer.

"Come on, guys, this is important. If we don't have officers, the group will be ineligible as an after-school club next year. I don't know about you, but I think it's important that we have a visible presence here."

"Things are better than they used to be," Max, a short-haired, openly lesbian jock, pointed out. "My teammates accept me completely. Maybe the group isn't really needed anymore."

"Things might be better than they used to be, but they're still not as good as they could be. Who has experienced any kind of harassment about your sexual orientation or gender presentation here at school in the past year, physical or verbal?"

Every single student raised their hand, including, to my surprise, Kane.

"Exactly." Asher went on. "Studies show that more than ninety percent of LGBTQ students in the U.S. experience some form of harassment at school. How many of you hear people use words like gay or faggot in a negative sense on a daily basis?"

Every hand in the room went up again.

"So, do you still think this group isn't needed?" When no one spoke up, Asher nodded, satisfied that he'd made his point. "You know, Max, since you are such an accepted and respected athlete, you'd make a great leader for the group."

Max bit her lip. "I could maybe manage the VP position, but there's no way I'd have time to be president and balance schoolwork, field hockey, and softball."

Asher took what he was offered. "Great." He wrote "Vice President" on the chalkboard, then underlined it. Beneath it, he wrote Max's name. "Anyone else want to run for vice president?"

Brandy sighed loudly. "You made me feel guilty, so go ahead and put me down for another year as VP, but y'all feel free to vote for Max." Everyone snickered as Asher added Brandy's name to the list.

"Okay, guys, we still need a president."

Kane slowly raised his hand. "I'll run."

Asher glared at him, and, for a moment, I thought he was going to cause a scene right there in the middle of the meeting. To his credit, he clenched his jaw and wrote Kane's name under "President."

One of the new boys, whose name I'd already forgotten, raised his hand.

Asher pounced on him eagerly. "Do you want to run for president, too, Ron?"

Ron seemed disconcerted. "Uh, no. I just had a question."

Asher visibly deflated. "Oh. Go ahead then."

"Yeah, uh, no offense or anything, I thought Kane was straight," Ron said carefully.

"I am," Kane responded.

"So, uh, how can you be the president of a gay group?"

Kane turned to Asher with a raised eyebrow, an obvious invitation for him to answer.

Asher gritted his teeth. "This isn't just a gay group, Ron. It's a LGBTQ alliance. Officer positions are open to all members. Anyone can be president."

"Okay, but how can he understand what it's like to be gay?"

Kane sat up straighter in his chair, a frown creasing his brow. "I might not be gay myself, but I probably understand what it's like as well as most people in this room, maybe better than some. My dad's gay. Both of my brothers are gay. One of them was even murdered because he was gay. Remember that?"

Ron looked down, silent. Kane didn't let the moment hang.

"I'm not saying this to guilt anyone or win sympathy votes. I just want you to know — I get it, more than you might think. And honestly? I get picked on almost as much as anyone else here. Just showing up to these meetings makes me a target. I get called all the names, too. It's not even true in my case, but that's the point.

"It doesn't matter if you're actually gay or bi, or if someone just thinks you are. Or if you're harassed because of how you dress, or how you identify on the gender spectrum. It all comes from the same place — homophobia, misogyny, ignorance. And that's what we need to be fighting, together."

"So you think you'd make a good president?" someone else spoke up.

Kane nodded decisively. "I do. I want to make things better for all queer students in this school — and their allies. I want to make it a safe place for everyone."

A handful of people broke into spontaneous applause. I had to admit even I was impressed with Kane's impassioned speech.

Asher sighed. "Is there anyone else who'd like to run for president?" He sounded almost pleading, but I think he knew before he asked that it was a lost cause. Kane had already won the election.

Brandy handed out ballots, waited for everyone to cast their votes, then collected the slips of paper and left the room to count.

While she was gone, Asher opened the floor for discussion. We were in the middle of debating the pros and cons of coming out to your parents when Brandy returned.

"Congratulations, Kane and Max," she announced. "You're the new president and vice president."

After the meeting, I quickly made my way to Asher's side while Kane enjoyed being the center of attention.

"I can't believe he pulled a stunt like that," Asher seethed.

I frowned. "Hey, it's not like anyone else was stepping up. Besides, were you even listening? I think he'll do a good job."

"He just wanted the position to get under my skin."

"Oh, please."

"Oh, please, nothing. You know as well as I do that the only reason he wanted to be president was because he knew it would upset me."

"That's ridiculous. He brought up the idea before he even knew you were against it. I don't understand why it's such a big deal."

"Your brother gets on my nerves."

"Yeah, I've noticed. What I want to know is why?"

"I don't know why." Asher paused. "Because he's a smug little jerk, that's why."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I think I'm going to stay out of this one and let you two duke it out."

"You're always taking his side!"

"What? I'm not taking anyone's side."

"You probably voted for him, didn't you?"

"Who else was I supposed to vote for?"

"You know what? I'm—"

A voice interrupted our argument. "Hey, um, Asher?"

We turned to find Caleb standing a few feet away. I wondered how long he'd been listening, and whether anyone else had overheard us. I looked around, but everyone else seemed to be busy congratulating Kane and Max.

Asher forced a smile for the kid. "Hey, Caleb. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could stay after and talk for a little while — like last week."

"Yeah, sure. My brother is picking me up, so he can give you a lift home again if you need it."

Caleb smiled. "That would be great."

I felt my frown deepen. I'd thought Adam was driving us home. Asher hadn't mentioned making other plans. I wondered if that was a spur-of-the-moment decision because of Kane's election, or if he really had made other arrangements and forgotten to tell me.

Asher turned back to me. His face was impassive, but his eyes were still stormy with anger. "I'll see you later," he said dismissively.

My eyes narrowed but I smiled as pleasantly as I could, determined not to let Caleb see that Asher and I were fighting. "Sounds great. It was nice to meet you, Caleb."

He barely spared me a glance. "Yeah, you, too."

I made a mental note to talk to Asher about Caleb later, after we'd worked out the issue of his ongoing feud with Kane. I sighed and turned away. Our laundry list of things to talk about kept growing, but the time never seemed right — or maybe I was just avoiding an unpleasant confrontation.

I collected Kane, and we went to meet Adam, who was waiting in the parking lot.

"I was elected president of the Rainbow Alliance," Kane burbled happily as he piled into the back seat.

"Really! Wow, that's awesome! Congratulations, son."

"Thanks." He giggled. "Man, is Asher pissed off."

I twisted around in my seat to face him. "Please tell me that's not why you ran."

Kane looked offended. "Of course not. I really do think I can do a good job as president." His evil grin returned. "Annoying Asher was just a lucky bonus."

"Why is Asher mad?" Adam asked. "I'd think he'd be happy there was a president at all, since it means the group he started will continue after he graduates."

"He's mad because I got elected," Kane gloated.

"What's going on with you two anyway?" I asked. "You used to get along fine."

"That was before he turned into a prick."

"He's not a prick."

"Yes, he is, and over the last year he's gotten progressively worse."

"I think you two just rub each other the wrong way," Adam said in a placating tone. "You're two very different personalities."

"Do you think Asher is a prick?" I asked Adam.

He chuckled. "I think he can be a little prickly at times, but I wouldn't call him a prick."

I sighed and slumped into the car seat. Adam glanced away from the road long enough to meet my eyes. "More importantly, what do you think?"

I wanted to defend Asher, but I couldn't deny that he had been acting bitchy lately. Instead, I shrugged and changed the subject. "So, what do you know about this kid Caleb?"

Kane snorted. "You mean besides the fact that he has the hots for your boyfriend?"

I yanked down the sun visor on my side of the car, flipped up the mirror cover, and shot his reflection a dirty look.

He grinned back at me. "Asher mentioned him when he started coming to the meetings a couple of weeks ago. Remember?"

"Is he the one you said was kind of weird?"

"That's him."

"He doesn't even look old enough to be in high school."

"He's a sophomore."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"So how is he weird?"

"He's just sort of standoffish and quiet. Actually, I feel kind of sorry for him. He doesn't seem to have any friends."

"How do you know so much about him if he's a grade behind you?"

"Apparently, he's some sort of genius. He's in a few of my classes."

I stewed over that for a few minutes. "And you think he likes Asher?"

Kane met my eyes in the mirror. "It's just a crush, Kill. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

I nodded. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't help feeling threatened. Even though it had been less than two years, it seemed that Asher and I had been together forever. In high school, a couple of years is forever. We'd had a few disagreements in that time, but we'd never really had any serious problems until recently. Our relationship had never been truly tested. Lately, though, it felt like we were being bombarded from all sides.

Kane may have thought I had nothing to worry about, but I wasn't so sure.

I forced myself to wait until after nine to call Asher. I was half hoping he'd call me, but somehow wasn't surprised when he didn't. I knew he'd still be upset over Kane's election.

"Hey," he answered, "I'm sorry about today."

"You are?" I hadn't expected an apology.

"Yeah. I was way out of line. I know Kane is your brother and you guys are close. I shouldn't have said those things. I'm sure he'll do a good job as president."

I felt like I'd entered an episode of the Twilight Zone. "Really?"

"Yeah. Besides, it's not like I'm going to have to deal with him. As long as the other members are happy, why should I care?"

"Where did this change of heart come from?"

"Just some things Caleb said while we were talking."

"Caleb..."

Something in my voice must have warned Asher that we were entering dangerous waters. "Yeah, he's a nice kid."

"Is he?"

"He really is. He's been through a lot."

"Has he?"

Asher chuckled. "Don't tell me you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. It's just...you do know he has a crush on you, don't you?"

"He does not."

"He definitely does. You should see the way he stares at you."

"Oh wow. You really are jealous. He just looks up to me. He's been telling me about his life. He's been through some horrible things."

"Haven't we all?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, actually I don't. Why don't you fill me?"

"Killian, I can't really go into it. He told me this stuff in confidence."

"It's not like you're a freaking priest or something. You can talk to me. I'm your boyfriend. We tell each other everything."

"This is different. It's not mine to share." When I growled in frustration, he backtracked a little bit. "Baby, you know I'd tell you if I could. He swore me to secrecy. Just trust me. You have nothing to worry about."

Later, as I tried in vain to fall asleep, those words came back to taunt me. I wanted to trust Asher. Both he and Kane had told me there was nothing to worry about.

So why was I so worried?

The killer swung the ax again and again, feeling an intense satisfaction with each sticky, wet thud. Warm blood splattered his face. It would have splashed into his mouth if his lips hadn't been pressed together so firmly.

He paused and looked over his handiwork. The body was barely recognizable as human. He hadn't planned to go that far, but it had felt so good he'd just kept chopping. He leaned against the ax as he struggled to catch his breath. His tongue crept out and tentatively licked his lips. A tangy, metallic taste flooded his senses.

I woke up retching. I could still taste the blood on my tongue.

Leaping from bed, I raced into the bathroom where I grabbed the bottle of mouthwash on the shelf and clawed frantically at the top. I swigged directly from the bottle, swishing the liquid around in my mouth until I couldn't stand the burn any longer.

I spat into the sink, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, then slowly raised my head to look into the mirror. The eyes staring back at me were filled with fear.

What was happening to me?

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